Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Most of the schools believe that they should only focus on formal learning rather than playing.

Firstly, formal learning is important for primary children because it helps them develop academic skills. For example, they have to learn writing, reading, mathematics at early age. Moreover, learning and reading make them knowledgeable. In future, they can become a doctor, engineer, pilots etc., Furthermore, learning mathematics make them help to become and businessman. Also do the competition and get the gold medal. They can use these skills in higher classes in their daily lives. For example, learning how to write an essay, letter, stories etc., help them become a future writer. Education is important for young children.

However, I believe that playing also plays a major role in their life's. Playing makes them physically fit and also mentally strong, and it also sharp their mind. They also get to know how to do a good communication by making some new friends in gardens or parks. Moreover, they get relaxed after studying for 5 hours' by playing and doing some other activities. Furthermore, they participate in the competition and other social works. It helps them to learn teamwork and do the task on time. They should get the opportunities to interact with other children. Children should have sufficient play time.

In conclusion, although formal learning is essential for children's academic development, I believe that playing is equally important because it supports their physical and social development. Therefore, primary school should provide a balance between learning and a play

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt, discussing both the focus on formal learning and the importance of play in primary school classrooms. Your position is generally clear throughout the essay. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For instance, while your arguments about formal learning helping students develop academic skills and future career paths are straightforward, supporting points such as getting a gold medal feel somewhat disconnected. Similarly, the points about physical fitness and social communication under the discussion of play are relevant but remain relatively brief and would benefit from deeper elaboration and concrete examples, which keeps the response at this level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, dividing the introduction, body paragraphs on formal learning and play, and the conclusion. However, cohesion is at times mechanical or faulty. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' repetitively to link sentences and ideas. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the sudden transition to discussing competitions and gold medals within the paragraph about academic skills, which disrupts the logical flow and progression of your arguments.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your main points about education and play. You attempt less common vocabulary such as 'academic skills', 'physically fit', and 'social development', but these attempts are accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, form, and collocation. Examples include 'primary children' instead of 'primary school children', 'life's' instead of 'lives', and 'do a good communication' instead of 'communicate effectively'. There are also minor awkward phrasings like 'sharp their mind', which cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a limited lexical range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as the concessive clause in the conclusion ('although formal learning is essential...'). However, you rely heavily on simpler structures, and your attempts at complex sentences are often affected by frequent errors. There are issues with subject-verb agreement and plurals, such as 'learning mathematics make them help' and 'stories etc., help them'. Furthermore, there are several punctuation and article errors, such as missing articles before nouns ('become a doctor', 'provide a balance between learning and a play') and incorrect apostrophe usage. These errors occur frequently throughout the text.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.