Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Majority of people argue that the primary schools should more focus about the formal learning. In my persomal perspective i partially agree with this statement.

Due to relayed on formal learnig , childeren has Learn basic reading, writing , mathematics terms and many more. firstly they taught about the structure of learning so this will enable them to focus better and study more compatibility. For example : in my country the one most popular and student's favourite application is byjus. this application is very simple and well structured. Students are formally introduced to concepts through the use of graphs, games, real life examples and thorough explanations, ensuring they gain a solid understanding of the material. One more reason is Teachers can identify children's academic weaknesses on early stages. So, the impact will be such that teachers will be able to focus more on the child who is weak and who not be able to complete with others. so might teacher will be understand about the weak part for childerent and they doing practice more.

On the other side , it is not important to childeren has only focusing the formal learning. cause majority of students and childeren ruined their childhood on that mentality to focusing only in studies. that's the reason to most of childeren who not strong on physically cause in primary section they learn about the only study makes the career. but that's the not fully truth. childeren to play as well as learn is that the best choice. cause only study is the harm of the students , might they suffer such anxiety , deperession , theey took so much stress about the career on the small age. andaslo they did not interact much on the other one's and they suffered aloneless also.

In conclusion , childeren shoul focusing the formal learning is the best think it impact on fundamental understanding , teacher should identified students weakness and i agree that but as well as they shoul spend time to outside play. cause everytime to spend on study it might impact on mental health as well as physical health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the main prompt by discussing both formal learning and the importance of play in primary schools, establishing a partial agreement position. However, some parts of the task are handled superficially. While the writer attempts to support ideas with examples, such as mentioning the application Byju's, the explanation tends to drift into general statements rather than fully extending the arguments. Ideas related to why formal learning is important, such as structured concept introduction and early identification of weaknesses, are introduced but remain under-developed. Similarly, the discussion on the negative impacts of excessive formal learning relies on repetitive points about stress and anxiety without deeper elaboration. To reach a higher standard, the student needs to fully develop each main point with deeper reasoning and more robust, detailed explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a basic logical structure visible through the use of standard paragraphing and some organizational markers such as 'On the other side' and 'In conclusion'. However, the overall progression of ideas feels somewhat disjointed due to abrupt transitions and mechanical referencing. Cohesive devices are often inadequate, inaccurate, or overused, such as repetitive sentence openings with 'cause' and 'so'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal paragraph cohesion is occasionally disrupted by fragmented sentences and loose connections between thoughts. To improve cohesion, the writer should employ a wider and more accurate variety of transition signals and ensure that referencing words clearly link back to their intended antecedents, allowing ideas to flow more naturally from sentence to sentence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The student attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'fundamental understanding' and 'academical weaknesses', but these attempts are accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and form, such as 'persomal', 'learnig', and 'childeren'. Other expressions like 'harm of the students' or 'suffered aloneless' demonstrate a lack of precision that causes some difficulty for the reader. While communication is generally maintained despite the lexical limitations, the frequent spelling and word-formation errors restrict the range of expression. To progress, the writer should focus on expanding their working vocabulary, learning correct word forms, and paying closer attention to standard collocations and spelling conventions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside poorly controlled attempts at complex clauses. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with verb forms ('childeren has Learn', 'they doing practice more'), subject-verb agreement, and missing or incorrect prepositions within grammatical patterns ('focus too much on', 'focus more about'). Punctuation and article usage are also inconsistent. These frequent errors can cause strain and difficulty for the reader when trying to parse the meaning of complex sentences. To achieve a higher band, the writer must improve their control over basic sentence construction, ensure correct verb tense consistency, and reduce the frequency of fundamental grammatical mistakes.

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