Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays there is a growing debate on the primary schools focus too much on formal education. While some people also believed that the young children get enough time to play as well as focus on the education.

Firstly, in my opinion about 90% of the primary schools focus on education as well also give children some time to play. Playing is a part of education when primary school children get enough time to play their mind will be freshed as compared to the children who had to focus only on their studies. The schools whose first piority is education their young children will exhaust so easily as compared to the children who get a free time to play.

I agree with this opinion that the education is important for the young children. This is the age where children learned about the basic things. But getting 8 hours of consective learning children will tired quickly. Meanwhile if they get also time to play having the activities, exercise they will learned thing easily as compared to others.

In contrast to other schools whose focus is only educuation their young children are not much talented and if you get their opinion they don't want to go to school. When they wake up in the early moring they cried because of their education system.

Furthrmore, education system should focus on this to make our education system strong. The students will get the oportunity to play having fun in the school. This is mandatory for the young student health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the main task by discussing both formal learning and the importance of play in primary schools, establishing a clear personal opinion in favour of allowing children time for play alongside their studies. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed. For instance, the argument that primary schools focus on education and give children some time to play is introduced but not sufficiently extended with specific examples or deep analysis. The reasoning tends to rely on generalisations, such as claiming that children in strict schools are not talented and cry in the morning, which lacks balanced academic support. To move to a higher band, the writer would need to fully develop all parts of the prompt with well-supported arguments and clearer explanations of how formal learning and play interact in a classroom setting.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay presents some organisation with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding remark, but it lacks a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is attempted, yet the internal flow within paragraphs is often disrupted by abrupt shifts in topic and repetitive sentence patterns. Cohesive devices are used minimally and sometimes inaccurately, such as the abrupt transition 'In contrast to other schools' which does not logically connect the preceding paragraph to the subsequent idea. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, leaving the reader to deduce the intended logical relationships between sentences. Achieving a higher band would require more effective logical sequencing, a clearer progression of ideas throughout the text, and a wider, more accurate range of cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items, such as 'consective', 'freshed', and 'piority', but these attempts are marred by noticeable spelling and word-form errors that reflect a lack of precision. Phrasing is often basic and repetitive, relying heavily on words like 'education', 'play', and 'children' throughout the essay. While the meaning remains mostly discernible, the lexical errors and restricted range occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To improve to the next band, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, employ more precise word choices and collocations, and eliminate spelling mistakes in key terms like 'priority' and 'consecutive'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside frequent attempts at complex structures that are often faulty. There are persistent errors in verb forms, tenses, subject-verb agreement, and articles throughout the text, such as 'primary schools focus too much' clashing with 'the primary schools focus', and phrases like 'children learned' instead of 'learn'. Punctuation and prepositions inside grammatical patterns also show frequent inaccuracies, including run-on ideas and incorrect clause linking. These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from achieving a more natural flow. A higher band would require a greater mix of accurate simple and complex sentence forms with significantly fewer grammatical errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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