Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argued that structured academic learning is the main motive of elementary schools of current times. I totally agree with this trend of present age due to several compelling reasons. Also, I strongly believe that it is essential for children play and acquire knowledge as well in the primary school classroom.

The demand for schools to focus only on academics is the need of the hour. Preparing students who are academically exceptional right from early years can be the striking reason why education system is only focusing on curricula rather than co-curricular activities for children. However, this trend brings serious consequences as well. Traditional teaching with teacher-centred learning can solely focus on bookwork which can further make the lessons boring for young pupils who already have marginal attention span due to a significant influence of social media usage. Moreover, lack of hands-on activities, project-based learning and inquiry learning, can result in children in the primary schools with loss considerable engagement and interest in the subject. Also, the developing brain of children can not handle extended curricula pressure. Reseach shows that children aging from 5-9 years can develop their cognitive skills through psychomotive activities which include movement of hands and body.

It is also said that learning through palying during elementary school years can foster a better development of cognitive skills. Discovery learning can make children crave for completing a task individually rather then listening to a boring 30 minutes lecture. Ethical values and moral virtues can be learned only through collaboration and co-operation within group task. The group success can inculcate empathy and motivation among the individuals which can have a lasting impact on the overall grooming and personality development of the students. Moreover, colorful hands-on experiments to solve an obstacle in the form of a mystery can prove to be more engaging and appealing to the young children.

In conclusion, from my perspective, I strongly believe that elementary schools nowadays are solely dependant upon formal learning system. However, learning through small games and activities such as projects, inquiries, mystery solving and hands-on activities can certainly prove to develop cognitive skills

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You successfully address all parts of the two-part prompt by clearly presenting your stance on formal learning in primary schools and discussing the importance of play alongside instruction. Your position is maintained clearly throughout the response. You present relevant and extended ideas, such as how traditional teaching might negatively impact attention spans and how psychomotor activities aid cognitive development in young children. However, there is a slight tendency to over-generalize in places, such as claiming that ethical values can 'be learned only through collaboration', which pulls the development slightly short of fully sustained exploration. To reach a higher level, you would need to ensure all main ideas are explored with deeper nuance and fully substantiated without relying on sweeping claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from your introduction through your body paragraphs to your conclusion. You utilise basic and some intermediate cohesive devices reasonably well, such as 'However', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points, such as the consequences of rigid academics and the benefits of play-based learning. However, referencing and cohesion occasionally feel somewhat mechanical or repetitive. For instance, transitional phrases like 'It is also said that' and 'It is often argued' introduce ideas in a formulaic way rather than weaving them together seamlessly. To achieve a higher level, you need to demonstrate more flexible and sophisticated management of paragraph-internal cohesion and clearer referencing across sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You display an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and academic phrasing such as 'academic learning', 'co-curricular activities', 'project-based learning', and 'personality development'. However, there are some noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word forms. Examples include 'children play and acquire knowledge as well' (awkward phrasing), 'loss considerable engagement' (missing a preposition or verb form like 'a loss of'), 'aging from 5-9 years' (aged), and 'learning through palying' (spelling slip). Additionally, phrases like 'main motive' and 'curricula pressure' show slight collocation issues. These errors do not impede communication, but to move higher, you need to use a wider range of vocabulary with greater precision, naturalness, and control over collocations and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and conditional ideas. There is good control over basic structures, and punctuation is generally handled adequately. However, your writing contains some errors in grammar and punctuation that persist throughout. Examples include article errors ('why education system is only focusing'), preposition and pattern errors ('result in children in the primary schools with loss', 'dependant upon'), pluralisation mismatches ('Reseach shows'), and modal verb issues ('can not handle extended curricula pressure'). These errors rarely impede communication, reflecting a solid middle-tier performance. To reach the next level, you must produce a higher frequency of error-free complex sentences and demonstrate tighter control over articles, prepositions within grammatical patterns, and subject-verb agreements.

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