Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given topic is about primary schools that focuses too much on formal learning and not giving them time for playing games such as football, cricket, and bedminton. It is very essential for students to play along with their study because sports plays a vital role enhancing the student learning ability. Sports makes children healthy and improve their brain ability to do well in study.

For instance, i remember when i was student, i was a quite shy person and didn't play any games and for this reason i didn't have much friends. I saw those students playing sports and had fun with their friends. I remember my one respected sir told me to play games with your friends because it enhances your br,ain function. I didn't focused much on his advice later on i realised the only reason i don't have friends is because of shyness then i put my self in every sport in school and i became extrovert and it also helped me in several ways like i didn't feel as much active myself before and later on it also encouraged me to join gym. I have been working out for 3 years.

Furthermore, schools have to allow students to play different games and schools should make a seperate period for games and force them to play games. Schools should organize a free lecture and try to encourage students to play games and teach them benefits of games. Additionally, there is alot of benfits of playing games rather then sitting alone all day.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task, discussing both the focus on formal learning and the importance of play in primary schools. Your position is generally clear throughout the text, and you attempt to support your arguments with personal examples and explanations. However, some ideas are under-developed or remain repetitive, particularly in the body paragraphs where points about the benefits of games are restated without deeper elaboration. To move to a higher level, you would need to extend your supporting ideas more fully, exploring broader educational or developmental impacts rather than relying heavily on a single personal anecdote.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a recognisable introduction and body paragraphs that attempt to discuss distinct points. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'For instance', 'Furthermore', and 'Additionally', though they are at times mechanical or repetitive in structure. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as pronoun shifts ('your br,ain function' and 'put my self'). Paragraphing is attempted, but the final body paragraph groups several distinct recommendations together rather than logically dividing them. To progress, you should ensure that cohesive devices connect ideas more smoothly and that each paragraph focuses clearly on a single, well-developed theme.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, providing enough range to communicate basic ideas such as 'primary schools', 'formal learning', and 'extrovert'. However, there is a limited range of vocabulary, and noticeable errors in word choice, form, and spelling occur throughout the response, including 'bedminton', 'focused', 'alot', and 'benfits'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a restricted lexical repertoire. To achieve a higher score, you should incorporate a wider variety of less common academic vocabulary, improve precision in word choices, and check your spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting complex structures with relative clauses and conditional-like phrasing such as 'when i was student, i was a quite shy person'. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing articles ('a quite shy person'), subject-verb agreement issues ('schools have to allow', 'focuses too much'), and incorrect verb tenses ('i don't have friends is because of shyness'). While these errors rarely impede overall communication, they persist throughout the text and demonstrate limited control over complex syntactic structures. To improve, you need to increase your accuracy with basic grammatical patterns, punctuation, and tense consistency.

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