Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The integration of playful activities with academic subjects in early school has become a subject of considerable debate. This issue is important because of its potential impact on the physical and mental development of children. I think second statement is more beneficial for physical and mental health of play-group students.
Many think that primary schools should focus on formal learning. It has a great significance for a child, who is just at the first step to learn. Learners start to recognize basic alphabets,letters and numbers. Focusing on academic curricula while denying the role of other activities could have a major impact on classroom environment. Early age-groups finds more interest in play and games. For instance, a child who just starts going to school might lack focus for an entire new activity such as study. Sitting constinuosly maintaining the decorum of classroom and studying several subjects may feel boredom, lack of interest and exhaustion. This may be result of doing the things they weren't used to This sudden switch to a different routine ought to be difficult for them to adapt. Also can become a burden for them. Lack of interest might be the consequence for this.
Others think that school should integrate playing activities with educational tasks within the classroom. For example, a child who comes to school for learning, also finds margin to engage in games and toys may find it exciting. Studying, making friends, socializing with teachers can improve their social and interpersonal skills. They can become happy and may develop their interest to come to school regularly.
In my opinion, children should interact with teachers, other students through various educational and physical activities such as fun games. This can help their brain and bones grow. As they are in their early stages of growth. They can make healthy habits by this routine which can give them advantage in the long term.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task, presenting arguments for both formal learning and the integration of play. However, the treatment is somewhat unbalanced, as certain ideas are under-developed or remain unclear. For example, the thesis statement is vague, stating that 'I think second statement is more beneficial', which makes the exact position initially unclear. The body paragraphs raise relevant points about classroom environment and social skills, but these ideas lack extended supporting examples or deep exploration. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to clearly state their position in the introduction and fully develop every argument with specific explanations and well-elaborated examples.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay displays an overall coherent arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the response into an introduction, body paragraphs addressing different viewpoints, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. The transitions between sentences can feel abrupt, such as the sudden shift from discussing boredom to 'This may be result of doing the things they weren't used to'. Referencing is not always clear, as seen in the ambiguous phrase 'second statement'. Paragraphing is used to separate main ideas, but the logical progression within paragraphs requires smoother transitional devices. To improve, the writer should ensure that referencing pronouns clearly link to preceding nouns and employ a wider, more natural variety of cohesive devices.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully communicating everyday concepts related to education and childhood. There are attempts to use less-common vocabulary, such as 'integration', 'interpersonal skills', and 'interconnection', but these are accompanied by some word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'early age-groups finds' and 'constinuosly maintaining the decorum'. Spelling errors also appear, such as 'constinuosly'. These inaccuracies do not seriously impede communication, but they restrict the score. To achieve a higher band, the writer should focus on expanding precise collocation knowledge, minimizing spelling errors, and incorporating more sophisticated lexical items naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, though attempts at complex structures are frequently limited or flawed. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('Early age-groups finds'), missing articles ('study', 'boredom'), and awkward sentence fragments ('Also can become a burden for them'). Punctuation is occasionally misused, as seen in fragmented clauses. While these errors rarely impede overall communication, they occur regularly. To progress to the next level, the writer must exercise better control over complex sentence patterns, ensure correct subject-verb agreement, and minimize basic grammatical slips.
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