Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The importance of student learning is always been a diplomatic and controversial debate. Many people argue that primary schools are focusing much on formal learning and are not concerned about the sports in their lives.However, I agree with this statement that most of the primary schools are focusing too much on children's formal learning.

It is very important for students to learn in their schools and focus more on their studies, as it is very important for improving their education and knowledge. But we can not ignore the fact that these days schools are not focusing on the other activities like sports as it is also a very important aspect in grooming of the children.For example: Research was conducted by the researchers in USA on the primary school students and it showed that the students involved in sports showed significant increase in their academic scores than that who did not participated.

This shows clearly that sports are also important as academic learning is, However, students that are involved in playing activities are more likely to produce good academic qualities because these activities are helping them build their good character, leadership qualities, boosting their confidence and improving their mental ability.For example, In a school where there is no sort of playing activity and children's are just supposed to focus on learning students became uninterested in the studies because they got no time to play and relax their minds.

In conclusion, apart academic learning, playing for children should also be priortized in primary schools as this institution is responsible for the grooming of the children if children are uninterested in academic activities they will not be able to achieve their aim in life and will result in failure.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the focus on formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play and sports. The position is clear throughout, as you consistently argue that schools focus too much on formal learning and that play is essential for holistic development. However, some ideas are under-developed rather than fully extended. For instance, while you mention that sports build character, leadership qualities, and boost confidence, these points are listed rather than thoroughly explained with deep examples. To reach a higher level, you should extend your supporting arguments with more specific, well-reasoned explanations and fully flesh out the consequences of balancing academics with play in the classroom.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a recognizable introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Information and ideas are generally presented in a logical sequence, moving from your initial stance to arguments about academic performance, character building, and a final summary. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For example, transitional phrases like 'For example:' followed by immediate sentence breaks, and repetitive connectors such as 'However,' show a slightly mechanical approach to linking ideas. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'than that who did not participated,' where the pronoun reference is imprecise. To improve, ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs without relying on repetitive cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, successfully conveying your core ideas about education and sports. You attempt some less common lexical items, such as 'grooming,' 'diplomatic and controversial debate,' and 'holistic development' (conceptually), but these attempts sometimes show inaccuracy in word choice or collocation. For instance, describing a debate as 'diplomatic' is an unnatural collocation in this context, and 'children's' contains a minor punctuation/spelling slip. Other phrases like 'focusing much on' could be more idiomatic (e.g., 'focusing too heavily on'). While communication is not impeded by these issues, mastering natural collocations and refining word choices will help elevate your lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting multi-clause structures such as conditional and relative clauses. There are, however, some noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation. For instance, verb tense and agreement issues appear in sentences like 'The importance of student learning is always been' (should be 'has always been') and 'did not participated' (should be 'participate'). Punctuation and article errors also occur, such as 'children's are just supposed' and 'apart academic learning'. These errors do not impede overall communication, but they occur with enough regularity to keep the writing at this level. To achieve a higher band, focus on eliminating basic errors in verb forms and ensuring greater control over complex sentence structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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