Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, the childern are forced by their parents to study only and did not give time for playing. This would lead to two serious problems in future, lack of activity and selfishness in the childern. I think childern should be given sometime for playing.
When the childern only study and do not play they are more likely to have lack of activity, because the palying any type of game wether it is indoor or outdoor it will help the childern brain to develope fast and it will also help them in thier growth. But if the childern are not given any time for playing and parents insist them to only studying they will most likely to be more inactive.
And also if they are not any time for playing they will become more selfish, because playing with friends teaches childern to be supportive to each other and more friendly. If they will play outdoor sports like Football, Cricket, Baseball they will develope a spirirt of sportsmenship. In this the childern will become more friendly towards other they will develope feelings for others. But if they did'nt give the time for playing and will be studying they will become selfish.
In conclusion, the childern who only study and do not play are more likely to be selfish and bored and they don't like help others. But on the other hand childern who manage thier schedule like they study as well as play are more likely to be grow faster and grow feelings towords other.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt partially by discussing both the focus on formal learning and the importance of play in primary schools. Your position is expressed, though it remains somewhat basic throughout the text. The ideas you present are limited and under-developed, particularly when explaining how a lack of play leads to specific problems like selfishness or a lack of activity. For instance, when you state that playing indoor or outdoor games will 'help the childern brain to develope fast,' this idea is not extended with specific explanations or examples. To reach a higher level, you need to fully develop your arguments with well-reasoned support and specific examples from your own knowledge or experience, ensuring all parts of the prompt are explored in greater depth.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
There is some organisation present in your writing, with a basic introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next. The response relies heavily on repetitive sentence structures and basic, inaccurate, or over-used cohesive devices such as 'and also,' 'but if,' and 'in this.' Paragraphing is used to separate your main points about lack of activity and selfishness, but referencing within the text is sometimes unclear, such as when you refer broadly to 'this would lead to two serious problems.' To improve your coherence and cohesion, you should use a wider variety of cohesive ties more accurately, ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs, and build a clearer logical progression throughout the entire essay.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
Your vocabulary range is limited but minimally adequate for the task. You attempt to use some topic-related vocabulary such as 'formal learning,' 'indoor or outdoor,' and 'sportsmenship,' but there are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling throughout the response. For example, recurring spelling mistakes like 'childern' instead of children, 'palying' instead of playing, 'wether' instead of whether, and 'develope' instead of develop occur frequently. Additionally, awkward collocations and word forms such as 'did not give time for playing' and 'spirirt of sportsmenship' cause some difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher score, you need to expand your lexical range, incorporate less common vocabulary with greater precision, and eliminate spelling and word-form errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences and repetitive complex structures that are often faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors involving verb forms, tenses, subject-verb agreement, and articles. For example, expressions like 'the childern are forced... and did not give time,' 'they are more likely to have lack of activity,' and 'if they did'nt give the time' show a lack of control over basic grammatical patterns. Furthermore, punctuation is sometimes problematic. These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader and disrupt the flow of the text. To progress to a higher band, you must incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence forms with good control and significantly reduce your frequency of grammatical errors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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