Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

few people questioned about the curriculm scheme of primary school system .to me that is really a good question and i totally agree with this question that educational institutes are much more focussed on the curriculum learning rather than paying attention towards childeren self growth. basically that is the stage where kids get to know about manners, they learned here how to be happy after playing littel games though having homework burden with themselves , how to release stress ,while arranging cocirrcular activites will result in the enhancment of students socialization skills as well .consequently that will become a reason of good health for the childeren as they run durring games sesision that will built their stamena , as a result they will pay more focus on studies as they get refresh after taking some game periods with their freinds . they will also not going to spend much time on their vedio games .as a result they will never become victim of eyesight problem .these all are interlinked phenomenons .beacuse when we grew up we find less time to spent on ourselves as we have many other task to do so, at that time we are just supposed to work hard for our career that is not the time of builting up the communication skills and other bascic manner this is the actuall time because it is understood to take average marks in the exam beacuse at this tsgae of pursuing primary education nobody expect us to work like a einstine ,but they really thinks that we will develop some basic manners in this era so yeah i think educational sectors should pay more attention toward informal education rather then just working from formal otherwise student will just start doing cramming and they even will fail at developing ethics in them

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by discussing both the extent of agreement regarding formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play alongside learning. The writer takes a clear position in favour of balancing formal education with informal activities and play. However, while the main ideas are relevant and touch upon crucial aspects such as social skills, stress relief, and overall health, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For instance, the points regarding physical stamina and eyesight problems are somewhat tangential and under-developed, lacking strong academic support. To reach the next level, the writer needs to ensure all ideas are extended consistently with well-focused examples and deeper analysis rather than drifting into minor secondary health claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response struggles significantly with overall arrangement and progression, resulting in a text that lacks a coherent structure. The most prominent issue is the complete lack of paragraphing; the entire response is written as a single, massive block of text, which makes reading and following the progression of ideas very difficult. Furthermore, cohesive devices are often mechanical, repetitive, or poorly managed, relying excessively on run-on structures like 'as a result' and 'consequently' strung together continuously without appropriate punctuation or clear logical transitions. Referencing is also occasionally unclear. To improve Coherence and Cohesion, the writer must divide the essay into logical paragraphs—such as separate sections for introduction, arguments for play, arguments against over-formalisation, and a conclusion—and use a wider, more accurate variety of cohesive ties.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, attempting some less common words and phrases such as 'curriculm scheme', 'self growth', and 'cocirrcular activites'. However, the vocabulary is hindered by noticeable spelling errors, such as 'curriculm', 'childeren', 'littel', 'cocirrcular', 'enhancment', 'durring', 'sesision', 'stamena', 'vedio', 'beacuse', 'builting', 'bascic', 'actuall', 'tsgae', 'einstine', 'thinks', and 'cramming'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they frequently distract the reader. Word choice and word formation also show occasional awkwardness, such as 'doing cramming'. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their control of spelling and use less common lexical items with greater precision and stylistic awareness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writer displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting complex clauses to express ideas about education and child development. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, showing frequent errors in punctuation, capitalization, articles, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions within grammatical patterns. For example, sentences are heavily run-on, separated only by commas or lacking terminal punctuation entirely, as seen in phrases like 'system .to me' and 'games though having'. There are also tense inconsistencies and prepositional slips, such as 'spend much time on their vedio games' and 'pay more attention toward informal education rather then just working'. These errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, pulling the writing down. To progress, the writer needs to exercise much better control over sentence boundaries, punctuation, and basic grammatical agreements.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.