Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is commonly believed by a few individuals that primary schools emphasizes more on formal education. In this essay, I will discuss why I partially agree with this statement, and will also suggest some reasons why it is crucial for learners to play and learn in the primary school classroom.

On the one hand, primary schools build the foundation of students by providing them formal education. To explain it, formal education is crucial for children to acquire because it helps them to make their base stronger for getting higher education in the future. Moreover, there are number of subjects, such as science, maths, environment, and language, which are important to learn with full clarity and concentration, which is why primary schools put main emphasis on teaching students about formal education. In addition, another significant reason is that getting formal education teaches useful skills to students, such as discipline, remembering concepts, and engaging with classmates from different backgrounds.

On the other hand, other recreational activities and sports play an important role in children' life while having formal education. To interpret it, engaging in different sports activities enables children to enjoy their childhood and makes their school life more interesting. Apart from this, organizing recreational activities can bring creativity among students because it can show their talent in a particular activity like art, games and so on. Focusing too much on formal learning can make learning boring, which can lower the interest of students in studies. Therefore, it is crucial for primary schools to give equal importance to study as well as games.

In conclusion, although emphasizing formal education can build strong foundation and basic knowledge of subjects is crucial for further education, I believe that playing games and performing other playful activities makes the environment engaging and brings creativity among students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing the extent of agreement and explaining the importance of play alongside learning. The position is clear throughout the essay. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others, which is characteristic of this level. For instance, while the benefits of formal education regarding discipline and foundational knowledge are well stated, the discussion on recreational activities tends to rely on somewhat repetitive points about creativity and making school interesting. To reach the next level, the student should provide deeper, more extended explanations and more specific examples regarding how play directly enhances cognitive or social development in young learners.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear, logical structure. The introduction outlines the writer's stance, the body paragraphs follow a traditional two-sided discussion format, and the conclusion neatly summarises the main points. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' are used appropriately to guide the reader through the argument. However, referencing and transitions are at times slightly mechanical or formulaic, such as using 'To explain it' and 'To interpret it'. To achieve a higher band, the student should integrate cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that paragraph transitions flow with greater subtlety and variation.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully communicating the writer's ideas without impeding comprehension. The student demonstrates some attempt to use less common items and academic phrases, such as 'build the foundation' and 'recreational activities'. Nevertheless, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing, such as writing 'primary schools emphasizes more' instead of 'emphasize', and using 'number of subjects' instead of 'a number of subjects'. Word choices like 'make their base stronger' are also somewhat basic. To improve, the student needs to expand their range of precise collocations and ensure greater control over word forms and spelling to enhance stylistic sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an ability to construct multi-clause sentences using subordinating conjunctions like 'although' and 'because'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but they rarely impede communication. Examples include minor agreement issues and article omissions, such as 'children' life' instead of 'children's lives' and 'play games and performing other playful activities' where parallelism is slightly disrupted. Additionally, some complex structures are clumsily phrased. To move higher, the student must produce a greater frequency of error-free complex sentences and refine their control over subject-verb agreement, prepositions, and grammatical structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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