Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It often argued that most of primary schools are very much focus and socializing the formal learning in nowadays.formal learnig is importanr but playing while learning also most important.
Nowadays most of the education systems are oversizing the class romm systems,but its playing plays a crucial role in childrens life. and also i can say playing while learnig is very important.
when i was in primary level my teachers was give lot of freedom to students on education and playing game they kept both in a equal conditions.
in my point of view learnig give a children a way of behaving and playing gives a streesful life,peace and balanced way to life.
In my life i used to play la lot in my childhood with my friends, mainly playing games on school gives friends and we used to build a relationship with them.
And onther thing is learn while playing give a more excitement to learn for example if we take mathematics stubject as a example , learning the numbers,equations and addition substractions and multification ,we don"t get it firsly while saying on class but my teacher used to make students to play numbers game so we learned easily and we never forget.
conclusion,lastly i agreed that focusing only on formal classroom learnig not give much context but playing while learnig give you much experience.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt regarding formal learning and the importance of play in primary schools, presenting a clear position that play is essential. However, the ideas remain limited and under-developed, relying on repetitive points and brief personal anecdotes rather than fully elaborated arguments. Furthermore, the response falls short of the minimum length requirement, containing only 225 words instead of the required 250, which restricts the depth of the discussion. To reach a higher band, the writer must expand on ideas with greater elaboration and ensure the word count requirement is fully met.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is some organisation in the response, but it lacks a clear overall progression. The essay is divided into short, disjointed paragraphs, and the transitions between ideas feel abrupt and mechanical. Cohesive devices are basic and sometimes inadequate, such as repetitive use of 'and also' or 'and another thing is', which fails to create smooth logical links between sentences. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to follow the line of thought. To improve, the writer needs to employ a wider range of cohesive devices accurately and structure the essay into more unified, logically sequenced paragraphs with clear thematic development.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts some less common phrases, but noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling occur frequently throughout the text. Examples include 'socializing' instead of 'focusing', 'oversizing', 'stubject' instead of 'subject', and 'multification'. These lexical inaccuracies and spelling errors sometimes cause difficulty for the reader and impede smooth communication. To achieve a higher score, the writer must demonstrate a broader range of vocabulary with greater precision, paying closer attention to correct word forms, collocations, and standard spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response exhibits a limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences, while attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty. There are persistent errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, such as 'It often argued', 'teachers was give', and 'learnig give a children a way of behaving and playing gives a streesful life'. Punctuation and capitalization are also inconsistently handled. These frequent errors cause strain and difficulty for the reader. To progress, the writer needs to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence forms with greater grammatical accuracy and better control over basic sentence construction.
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