Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Education is most crutial step towards bright future of child.Parents should bestow knowlegde about everything since childhood.Some people says that academy focus much on a fixed curriculum and schedule.This essay will discuss why i agree with the notion and reasons for my inclination are articulated in trailed paragraphs.

In the inception there are umpeen reasons why formal learning in primary school is paramount firstly,Children will learn everything from basic steps,If primary school teaches them with fixed time tables then they will pressure themself and keep them concentrate learning new things.Secondly when they go in secondary then nothing feels new to them because of clear concepts in their mind.For example if formal language is done since primary then it will easy for them to chase any thing tough.Thus formal language in young age is mendatory.

furthermore,Childhood dont come twice in this era so live it up.I think in age till 10 kid knew nothing about life and future a child is tense free and i have seen that in senior class and juniour class rather then study their is more games in class roomes when i was child my school use to put lot of indoor games in classroom to kids to play in primary sections lets implement an example during moring time my school mam use to teach us and ask us orals and after having lunch she make us play.Thus both learing and playing at the same moment is more crutial in todays era.I was amazed by my school and prestegious teachers

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the extent of formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play, but the ideas remain limited and under-developed. While the writer manages to express a position agreeing with the notion that formal learning is necessary while acknowledging the value of play, the development is often superficial. For instance, the discussion on how primary school prepares children for secondary education is brief and lacks concrete support. Similarly, the argument regarding games in the classroom relies heavily on personal anecdote rather than fully realized reasoning. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to extend and support all main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation present, such as dividing the response into an introduction and body paragraphs, but there is no clear overall progression. The essay relies on basic and repetitive cohesive devices, such as 'Secondly' and 'Thus', which are sometimes used inaccurately or mechanically. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in phrases like 'reasons for my inclination are articulated in trailed paragraphs'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas lacks smooth transitions, making the overall flow disjointed. To achieve a higher score, the writer must ensure a more logical progression of ideas from sentence to sentence and employ a wider, more accurate range of cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. There are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling throughout the text, such as 'crutial', 'knowlegde', 'academy' instead of 'academia', 'umpeen', and 'prestegious'. While the writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'paramount' and 'mendatory', inaccuracies in spelling and collocation cause some difficulty for the reader. To improve in this area, the writer needs to expand their lexical repertoire and focus on accurate spelling and word formation to ensure clear communication without distracting errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer demonstrates a limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences, while attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, missing prepositions, and punctuation. For example, sentences like 'Children will learn everything from basic steps,If primary school teaches them with fixed time tables then they will pressure themself and keep them concentrate learning new things' contain multiple structural and punctuation errors. To progress, the writer should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, improving punctuation, and increasing the variety of error-free complex sentence forms.

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