Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

There is an ongoing debate about whether elemantary schools should focus on structured learning and how much significant for a child to play and learn in primary school. There are several reason for this situation, and it is important to consider its effects. Both opinions have equal merits but i strongly believe that elementary school should focus on structured learning also other subjects relate to future.

Primary schools can include many subjects because children can train themselves to focus on the multiple task. Although formal learning is only related to the school subjects, they can't take part in mutiple competitions. For instance, there are several competition related to language learning, technology, and speech competition. If students can do several activites, they can win the multiple competitions.Therefore they able to perform the mutiple tasks as well.

Childrens should take part in school games because they become confident and active. some students are well play in game because they are good at sports.For instance, schools can organize the sports weeks for childrens and introduce the several new games for students. As a result, they don't feel frustrate in daily routine and enjoy sports week.childrens can also learn a foreign language and can win a scholarship.

In conclusion, Although scool is the primary place for learning the subjects, they can also take part in the sports competitions I strongly agree with this persceptive because students should learn to do multiple task and take part in several activities. If school organize the competition related to the other subjects, they can definately win the competition.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially, fulfilling the requirement of tackling both parts of the prompt regarding formal learning and play, but the ideas remain limited and under-developed. For example, while the writer mentions that children can train themselves to focus on multiple tasks and win competitions, this point is not fully extended or supported with specific, logical elaboration. The position regarding whether formal learning should dominate is stated, but the overall argument becomes somewhat unclear and repetitive by the conclusion. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to explore each part of the prompt in greater depth, ensuring that every main idea is supported by clear explanations and relevant, detailed examples rather than generalized statements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation present in the response, such as separating the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately at times, as seen with transitional phrases like 'There are several reason for this situation,' which do not logically fit the context. Additionally, paragraphing is inconsistent, and referencing within sentences is occasionally unclear, making the flow disjointed. To achieve a higher score, the writer must ensure that ideas follow a logical sequence, apply cohesive devices more naturally without repetition, and use paragraph breaks to group distinct points effectively.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task, with noticeable spelling and word choice errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Instances of inaccurate word forms and spelling mistakes include 'elemantary' instead of elementary, 'mutiple' instead of multiple, and 'activites' instead of activities. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, but word choice errors such as 'some students are well play in game' reflect restricted control over collocations. To improve, the student should expand their range of vocabulary, pay closer attention to word forms, and double-check spelling to ensure precise and natural expression.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside attempts at complex forms that are frequently faulty. There are noticeable errors in grammar, plurals, and subject-verb agreement throughout the text, such as 'Childrens should take part' and 'If school organize the competition'. Punctuation and capitalization errors, including lowercase letters at the beginning of sentences like 'childrens can also learn', further detract from grammatical control. To reach a higher standard, the writer needs to increase the variety of error-free complex sentence structures and carefully check for basic agreement, articles, and pluralization errors.

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