Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often claimed that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal academic learning and do not provide extra opportunities for chilfren to play. I largely agree with this view because excessive academic pressure can negatively effect young children, while play can support their social, emotrional and physical development. Therefore, I believe that schools should maintain a healthy balance between formal education and play.

One major reason why primary schools should reduce their focus on formal learning is that young learners are not ready to spend most of their school day studying in a traditional way. At an early stage, pupils learn more effectively when lessons are interactive and enjoyablerather than based mainly on memorisation, homework and tests. Excessive academic work can make them feel stressed and may lose their natural curiosity about learning. For instance, instead of simply asking adolescent memorise number, teachers can use different games, puzzles and pratical activities to teach basic concepts. In this way, children can develop important academic skills while remaining interested and motivated.

At the same time, play is extremely important because it helps juveniles develop skills that cannot always be gained through formal lessons. When teenagers play together they learn how to communicate, cooperate, share and slove problems. Physical activities also improve their health and help them to develop coordination and confidence. Moreover, imaginative games can encourage creativity and independent thinking. To illustrate, children who play team games learn how to work together, follow rules and deal with success and failure. Therefore, play should not be considered as wastage of educational time; rather, it should be an essential part ofprimary studies.

In conclusion, I largely agree that primary education can place unnecessary burden through formal learning. Although academic education is important for children's overall performance. A balanced approach that combines classroom learning with games, physical activities and creative play would help children become healthier, more confident and more attractive learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the essay. The student successfully tackles both whether formal learning is too dominant and the importance of play in the primary classroom. Ideas are generally extended and supported, such as when the writer discusses how interactive lessons prevent stress and how team games teach cooperation. However, there is a slight tendency to over-generalise in places, and some arguments, like the mention of adolescent and teenager development in a primary school context, show some slight lapses in focus that prevent the response from achieving a higher level. Overall, the main tenets of the task are well-covered with relevant examples drawn from general knowledge.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay presents a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving smoothly from the introduction to the drawbacks of excessive formal learning, the benefits of play, and a concise conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'One major reason', 'At the same time', 'Moreover', and 'To illustrate' are used with good flexibility to guide the reader through the argument. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately. While referencing is mostly clear, a few cohesive links feel slightly mechanical, but the overall arrangement remains coherent and easy to follow from start to finish.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'excessive academic pressure', 'natural curiosity', and 'independent thinking'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors, including inappropriate word choices like referring to primary school pupils as 'adolescent' and 'teenagers', as well as spelling mistakes such as 'chilfren', 'emotrional', 'enjoyablerather', 'pratical', and 'slove'. There are also minor word form issues, such as 'wastage of educational time' instead of 'a waste of educational time'. These inaccuracies do not impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score to this level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

The writing features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating a decent variety of structures like conditional-like clauses and subordinate clauses. There are several error-free sentences, such as 'When pupils learn more effectively when lessons are interactive...'. However, a number of grammatical errors persist, including prepositional and agreement issues like 'negatively effect' instead of 'negatively affect', missing articles such as 'part of primary studies', and awkward phrasing like 'place unnecessary burden'. Punctuation is generally acceptable, and while the errors occasionally catch the eye, they rarely impede communication, reflecting solid control that starts bridging towards higher precision.

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