Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
There is an ongoing debate about whether primary schools place too much pressure on formal learning. I partly agree with this statement because academic education is essential for children's future, but I believe that play is also important for confidence and student learning capabilities.
On the one hand, formal learning plays a vital role in children's subject learning and exams. Subjects such as mathematics, science and computer provides them a fundamental knowledge about a specific subject related to their upcoming exams. In addition, they learn several tasks and multiple subjects related to competitions, problem-solving and learn to solve difficult questions. However, if their learning objective is only related to academic subjects, they feel bored and can't be able to concentrate in learning. Young learners feel pressurized by this academic burden. Therefore, schools should avoid including subjects only related to academic purpose.
On the other hand, play is essential for students to better focus and academic learning. Games and taking part in multiple activites play an important role in health and improves concentration. For example, teacher should organize a small competition in class. students can divide in two team. They ask the multiple questions with eachother. As a result this activity improves their thinking and strength their cinfidence.
In conclusion, i partly agree with this opinion because schools put the heavy pressure in subject related to academy. i believe that there should be a balanced approach between them because play also improves the student learning development skills.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of both questions by discussing whether formal learning is excessive and explaining the importance of play. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed, preventing a higher score. For instance, the argument that formal subjects help with exams is stated simply without deep elaboration. Furthermore, the response is slightly off the minimum length requirement, containing 246 words instead of the required 250, which impacts task completion. To improve, you should extend your explanations with more specific examples and ensure you comfortably exceed the minimum word count.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement and clearly signals its progression using standard cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different arguments and viewpoints. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty, such as the unclear referencing in the phrase 'between them' in the conclusion, where the antecedent is slightly ambiguous. Additionally, referencing and substitution could be managed more flexibly to ensure a smoother flow between sentences and ideas throughout the essay.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to communicate basic ideas about education and play. Less common lexical items are attempted, such as 'fundamental knowledge', 'problem-solving', and 'academic burden', but there are noticeable errors in word choice, form, and collocation. Examples include 'computer provides them' (instead of 'computers provide them'), 'activites' (spelling error), and 'strength their cinfidence' (incorrect word form and spelling). These limitations and errors restrict the lexical score, and to improve, you need to use a wider range of precise vocabulary with greater accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The text displays a limited range of structures, featuring a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. While there are some successful attempts at complex sentences, such as 'I partly agree with this statement because academic education is essential...', these structures are often accompanied by frequent errors in grammar, articles, and verb forms. Examples include 'subject related to academy' (plural/singular agreement), 'can't be able to concentrate' (redundancy and awkward phrasing), 'teacher should organize' (missing article), and 'students can divide in two team' (passive voice needed). These frequent errors can occasionally cause difficulty for the reader.
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