Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Few individuals thing that primary schools focus too much on formal education. I strongly agree with this view because formal learning is crucial for career development. For example, formal education helps people develop useful skills.
Firstaly, formal education plays an important role in preparing young individuals for their future careers. This reason is that it provides useful knowlodge and skill. Such as, formal learning will help us people for best indepandant life style. Secondly, it provide neccessary information to develop our socities, because it increased people mentality to passing hole life for a good citizien. For instance, formal education train humans that how we better our socities for healthy life. Thirdly, it helps people analyse problems and make wise decions, So humans can easily solved proplems effortless.
Fourthly, it provide students knowledge that how to communicate and work with others. Therefore, lisners can good communication skills and perform infront of many people easily. Fifthly, it provide us about different subject knowlodge and help people find better jobs. Finally, formal learning make people more confident when speaking and expressing their ideas.
Furthermore, formal education teaches people about socity, laws, responsibilities and sifferent cultures. In addition, student learn to form their own opinions and make decisions.
In my opinion, formal education is good in praimary schools that have many benifits because it provides individuals with knowlodge, practical skill and better career opportunities.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, as it contains only 222 words, with 8 words copied directly from the prompt not counted. Furthermore, the task is only partially addressed. While the writer states an opinion regarding formal learning, the second specific prompt question regarding the importance of play in the primary school classroom is completely neglected. Ideas are presented in a very repetitive, listing fashion without adequate extension or support, such as the superficial points about career development and society.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is some basic organisation with transitional markers used to structure the ideas, such as 'Firstaly', 'Secondly', and 'Thirdly'. However, there is no clear overall progression across the essay, and the paragraphing is extremely faulty, resulting in a single enormous block of repetitive points followed by a brief concluding sentence. Cohesive devices are mechanical and repetitive, and referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow a logical line of argument throughout the response.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with basic words like 'formal education', 'skills', and 'people' appearing constantly throughout the text. There are numerous spelling and word-form errors that reflect a lack of control, such as 'thing' instead of 'think', 'Firstaly', 'knowlodge', 'indepandant', 'neccessary', 'socities', 'decions', 'proplems', 'lisners', 'socity', 'sifferent', 'praimary', 'benifits', and 'skill'. These errors are noticeable and detract from the quality of the response, though they generally do not completely impede communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical range is quite limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that are heavily flawed. There are frequent errors in basic sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as 'formal learning make people', 'train humans that how we better', 'lisners can good communication', and 'student learn'. Punctuation and article usage are also inconsistent. These frequent errors occur across the text and cause some difficulty and confusion for the reader.
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