Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In recent years, eduction system has changed in the world, schools and colleges are focusing on formal learning, which helps children to make a bright future. Many educational institutes provide sports period, students can play and learn. I strongly agree with this viewpoint because that is essential for overall growth to students.
On the one hand, many people believe that for children focus too much on studies. This is because studies play a vital role in children life since its help students to secure their future with weath of knowledge. As a result, they can get a high-paying job, which helps students to fulfilling their needs. Furthermore, formal learning gives deep knowledge about the world. Therefore, learning is a important part of life. A clear example of this is that Janpanese students have a planty of knowledge in science subjects, they can easily solve difficult questions because their critical thinking much better than other country students. Consequently, there are many professionals, who operate their huge companies such as Nvidia, PlayStation.
The second arguement this is that several individuals think that children do not get bore with studies, if schools provide a free time for the playing games and sports. The main reason for this is that it helps children to develop more interest in studies and other activities, even physical curricula provide health advantages to students. For instance,
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response addresses the task only partially and the length requirement is not met, containing 228 words instead of the minimum 250 words. The writer attempts to express an opinion on formal learning and the importance of play in primary schools, but the ideas remain limited and under-developed. For instance, the introduction states a position, but the body paragraphs fail to fully explore both prompts of the essay question. The second argument paragraph ends abruptly in mid-sentence, which severely limits the development of ideas and leaves parts of the task unanswered.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is some basic organisation with the use of standard linking phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'Furthermore', but there is no clear overall progression throughout the essay. Paragraphing is attempted, but the final paragraph is incomplete, breaking the logical flow of the text. Cohesive devices are sometimes inaccurate or repetitive, and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the ambiguous pronoun use in 'this is that several individuals think'. Progression stalls due to underdeveloped arguments and the abrupt termination of the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic points. There are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word form that cause some difficulty for the reader, such as 'eduction system' instead of 'education system', 'weath' instead of 'wealth', 'Janpanese' instead of 'Japanese', and 'planty' instead of 'plenty'. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items like 'high-paying job' and 'critical thinking', but inaccuracies in collocation and word formation prevent the lexical range from reaching a higher level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The text displays a limited range of structures, with frequent errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. While there are some attempts at complex sentences, they are often faulty, such as in the clause 'because that is essential for overall growth to students' and 'which helps students to fulfilling their needs'. There are frequent errors in verb forms, prepositions inside grammatical patterns, and articles, such as 'is a important part' instead of 'is an important part' and 'free time for the playing games'. These grammatical inaccuracies persist throughout the response.
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