Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Few individuals claim that formal learning is given too much importance at primary schools. From my perspective, I agree with this argument that formal learning holds significance in primary schools but I also believe that institutions in well-developed countries also emphasize on playing activities as well like sports. This essay will discuss both views.

On the one hand, in recent years, a number of subjects are taught at primary schools and instructors focus on formal learning methods. Little attention is given to develop skills outside of the box in students. The curriculum is also designed in such a way that it puts huge pressure on students and they don't find enough time to play as well. This scenario mostly happens in underdeveloped countries due to the lack of quality control by the government institution responsbile for handling education system. For instance, Nigeria a underdeveloped country where the education system is below the belt is facing same issue of formal learning rather then inducing playing activities at schools for refreshment.

On the other hand, many well develpped countries have designed their school system to incorporate playing activties as well alongside academics. This facilitates students to keep them fresh which results in performing better in academics. The reason is, such countries knows the significance of extracurricular activities and instructors foster students to participate in such activties. Due to this, some students develop ineterst in sports and become national players which results in growing the fame of their schools as well. For instance, Switzerland a well developed country have established such schools which also give importance to playing activities and their students are highly regarded in the world because of their mentality.

In conclusion, primary schools of underdeveloped countries emphasize on formal learning however they should also focus on the students well-being by inducing playing activities like sports for refreshment of students which always leads to positive outcomes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the extent of formal learning and the importance of playing activities in primary schools. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, some ideas are under-developed or repetitive, particularly in the discussion comparing underdeveloped and well-developed countries. For instance, the generalisation about Nigeria and Switzerland is somewhat simplistic and lacks fully extended support. To reach a higher band, the writer needs to provide more fully developed, detailed explanations and more robust supporting examples rather than relying on brief sweeping statements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, and the use of paragraphing is generally appropriate. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are employed to structure the response, though some referencing and transitions can feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'which results in'. Logical progression is evident between paragraphs, but tighter referencing within paragraphs would make the flow smoother. To improve, the writer should use a wider variety of cohesive markers and ensure that pronoun referencing and transitions connect ideas more fluidly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to communicate their main ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common items, such as 'extracurricular activities', 'well-being', and 'significance'. However, numerous lexical errors and awkward collocations occur throughout the text, including 'emphasize on playing activities', 'well develpped countries', 'activties', 'ineterst', and 'below the belt'. While these errors do not severely impede communication, they reflect a lack of precision in word choice, form, and spelling. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their lexical range and demonstrate greater control over word formation and collocation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an ability to combine clauses using conjunctions and relative pronouns. However, there are several errors in grammar and punctuation, such as article omissions ('Nigeria a underdeveloped country'), subject-verb agreement issues ('countries knows'), and awkward preposition usage ('focus too much on formal learning' is correct, but 'emphasize on' is incorrect). Although these errors persist, they rarely impede communication. To move up to the next band, the writer needs to produce a higher frequency of error-free complex sentences and exercise tighter control over articles and verb forms.

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