Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many people believe that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning and pay less attention to the other development of the children. I largely agree with this point of view; in most schools, teachers ask students to focus on examinations and achieve high academic scores in academics, resulting in a loss of creative and social growth. I believe that playing sports is an important part of their activity and has a significant role in their practical life in solving different problems to adopt different skills.

On the one hand, why in a lot of schools, students can focus on formal learning, and individuals can gain knowledge about the effects of academic learning only. In the teachers ask students to get a good percentage in the final exams and leads to other students. In this way, students can spend all of their time on studies, and their parents can see that the children can pay attention to formal learning at a young age. The students can focus on formal subjects like math, history, and learning about different languages, while they can face stress and difficulties in their lives; for example, the learning method of a young student is different from that of older students and does not need to develop the skills that can be used in the past.

However, I do not say that formal learning is unimportant; it has a lot of value in literacy and in the future educational system. In my opinion, I say to walk with both things but create a balance between study and sports.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the main prompt by discussing formal learning and the role of play in primary schools, though the development of ideas remains limited and somewhat repetitive. The position is stated in the introduction where the writer largely agrees with the premise, but the supporting arguments in the body paragraph lack clear extension and detail. For instance, sentences such as 'the learning method of a young student is different from that of older students' are under-developed and do not clearly advance the central argument about academic pressure versus social growth. To move higher, all parts of the prompt need to be explored with fully extended ideas, clearer examples, and a more consistent, transparent progression of thought throughout the body sections.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The text demonstrates some overall organisation, beginning with an introductory stance followed by a body paragraph and a brief conclusion, but it lacks a clear overall progression and logical flow. Cohesive devices are at times inadequate or repetitive, such as the frequent reliance on transitional phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'However', which do not always logically link the preceding and following thoughts smoothly. Furthermore, referencing can be unclear, as seen in the phrase 'leads to other students' where the intended connection is lost. Paragraphing is attempted, but the central body paragraph is overly dense and disjointed, mixing multiple points about exams, parental expectations, and curriculum subjects without clear transitions. Improving cohesion requires a more varied and accurate use of connecting words and ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single, well-linked theme.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, featuring common terms related to education such as 'formal learning', 'examinations', and 'academic scores'. However, the range is limited, and there are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and phrasing that occasionally impede communication, such as 'the other development' instead of 'the overall development' or 'achieve high academic scores in academics'. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items like 'significant role' and 'practical life', but these are not always used with full precision or natural style. To achieve a higher band, the student should incorporate a wider variety of precise, less common lexical items and demonstrate better control over word formation and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer employs a limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on basic sentence forms with frequent awkward attempts at complex sentences. There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with clause structure, prepositions inside grammatical patterns, and awkward phrasing such as 'In the teachers ask students to get a good percentage' and 'In my opinion, I say to walk with both things'. These frequent errors frequently cause difficulty for the reader and obscure the intended meaning. To reach the next level, the student needs to demonstrate a greater variety of error-free complex sentences, improve control over verb forms and word order, and ensure that syntactic structures are formed accurately and clearly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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