Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Primary school has played a vital role in laying out the foundation of basic learnings as much as it give importance in nourishing the creative thinking of children. As some individuals argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, it is to my belief to completely disagree with the notion.

Primary school is the first educational system where children learn the foundation of knowledge like reading, writing, and counting. The school do not just put emphasis to these formal learning but they also integrate creativity through painting or drawing, fostering talents (singing, dancing), and building social skills (communication, making friends). For instance, my nephews who started going to primary school have been more interested in exploring various colors for their artwork and even excited to show to their schoolmates the art they created.

Moreover, playing and having fun has also a very significant contribution to childrens mind. As young as they are, their attention span is very short and they tend to become inattentive throughout a longer activity, so having breaks as often would be ideal. Integrating fun activities that appears a game to them would also be a practical and wise move to sustain the children's interest to the class. This would not just stregthen their learnings but also encourage creative thinking.

In conclusion, the viewpoint of other people that primary schools are too fixated in formal learning is not quite true and I do not agree with it. The idea of learning is not just restricted to the basic foundation but it also encompasses fun and imaginative aspects of education.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position throughout, satisfying the requirements for a solid score. The writer successfully discusses both whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and the importance of play alongside study. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed rather than fully extended. For instance, the example about the nephew's artwork is somewhat brief and could have been elaborated further to better support the argument about creativity. Similarly, the discussion on attention spans touches upon an important point regarding breaks, but the link between play and cognitive development is not fully explored with broader examples. The response contains 254 words, comfortably meeting the minimum length requirement, and ten words copied directly from the prompt were excluded from that tally.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear sense of progression from introduction to body paragraphs and conclusion. Each paragraph has a discernible focus, moving logically from the writer's main stance to the integration of creative activities, and finally to the benefits of play for concentration. Cohesive devices are used adequately, such as 'Moreover' and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader through the argument. Nevertheless, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or slightly faulty, such as referencing issues with pronouns where 'they' occasionally creates minor ambiguity regarding whether it refers to schools or children. Paragraphing is used sufficiently, but overall flow could be enhanced by smoother transitions between sentences to achieve a more natural progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, providing enough range to communicate ideas clearly and discuss education and play. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'nourishing the creative thinking', 'fostering talents', and 'significant contribution', showing an awareness of stylistic range. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and phrasing throughout the text, such as 'foundation of basic learnings' instead of 'learnings' in the plural, 'it give importance' instead of 'it gives importance', and 'appears a game' instead of 'appears as a game'. These errors do not impede communication, but they prevent the writing from achieving a higher level of precision and natural control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt at varied structures such as relative clauses and conditional-style reasoning. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'The school do not just put emphasis' instead of 'does not', prepositional slips such as 'importance in nourishing' instead of 'importance to nourishing', and minor article errors. However, these errors rarely impede communication and the meaning remains clear throughout. To move towards a higher band, the writer needs to produce a greater frequency of error-free complex sentences and exercise tighter control over basic agreement and verb forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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