Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

FIRST OF ALL ACCORDING TO THE GIVING SITUATION IN PRIMARY SCHOOLS THEY ARE MOSTLY FOCUS ON FORMAL LEARNING I THINK SO THEY DO HAVE TO ADD SOME EXTRA CARRICULAM ACTIVITY IN THE LERNING STAGE OF CHILDERN.

I AM ALSO AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT THAT THEY FOCUS TOO MUCH ON FORMAL LEARNING INSTEAD OF THIS THEY HAVE TO INVOLVE STUDENT INTO SOME PHYSICAL ACTIVITY LIKE PLAYING CRICKET ,FOOTBALL,CHESS THROUGH THIS THE CHILDERN CAN ENHANCE THEIR LEADERSHIP QUALITIES LIKE WHEN THEY LEAD A TEAM , SECOND ONE THE THEY CAN LEARN ABOUT HOW THEY CAN MANAGE PRESSURE SITUATION AND THIRD ONE IS HOW TO MAKE PLANS.

FOR EXAMPLE WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL I LEARNED HOW TO PLAY CHESS WHICH HELPS ME MANAGING TIME AND BEING STRATGIC AND FOCUS MORE AND HOW I CAN HANDLE THE TENSE SITUATION.

WHEN THESE TYPE OF ACTIVITES CHILDERN WOULD DO THEIR PHYSICAL STREINGHT WILL BE GOING TO INCRESE AND THEIR IQ .

ONE MORE THING THAT SCHOOL SHOULD HAVE TO DO IS THEY HAVE TO INVOLVE STUDENT IN STAGE ACTIVITY THROUGH THEY CAN BECOME MORE GOOD SPEAKER AND THEY WILL ERESE THEIR STAGE FRIGHTING WHICH CAN HELP THEM IN THEIR FUTURE .

IN CONCLUSION THE SCHOOL SHOULD HAVE TO ENVOLVE EVERY STUDENT INTO EXTRA ACADEMIC ACTIVITES TO RAISE THEM BETTERLY.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your response addresses both parts of the prompt, as you agree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and discuss the importance of play and activities like cricket, football, chess, and stage activities. However, the response falls short of the minimum 250-word requirement, totaling only 214 words, which places limitations on how fully your ideas can be explored. Your position is generally clear throughout the essay, and you offer some relevant ideas regarding leadership and pressure management. Nonetheless, these ideas tend to be limited and under-developed, relying on brief, repetitive assertions rather than fully extended reasoning and specific examples. To move to a higher band, you must ensure you meet the required word count and expand your supporting arguments more thoroughly with detailed elaboration and clear examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your essay displays some basic organization, beginning with an introduction, moving through body paragraphs focused on physical activities and stage performance, and ending with a brief conclusion. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression because the ideas are bundled together in a continuous block of text rather than being properly structured into distinct paragraphs. Cohesive devices are also inadequate, inaccurate, or over-used; for instance, you rely heavily on repetitive phrases like 'SECOND ONE THE' and 'THIRD ONE IS' to sequence your points rather than employing a natural variety of transition words and referencing. Paragraphing is not used sufficiently and appropriately, as the body of your text runs together without clear visual or logical separation. To improve, you should organize your thoughts into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences and smoother logical transitions between your ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey basic concepts about schooling and activities. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. For example, you use non-standard phrasing and spelling errors such as 'CARRICULAM', 'LERNING', 'CHILDERN', 'STRATGIC', 'STREINGHT', 'ERESE', 'STAGE FRIGHTING', and 'ENVOLVE' instead of appropriate terms like 'curriculum', 'learning', 'children', 'strategic', 'strength', 'erase', 'stage fright', and 'involve'. Your range of vocabulary is restricted, and you do not yet demonstrate the ability to use less common lexical items with precision. To achieve a higher score, you need to expand your vocabulary range, pay close attention to correct word forms and collocations, and eliminate basic spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Your grammar is characterized by a very limited range of structures, consisting mostly of simple sentences and run-on clauses linked by basic conjunctions. When you attempt complex sentence forms, they are frequently faulty, leading to sentences that lack proper punctuation and capitalization, such as 'ACCORDING TO THE GIVING SITUATION IN PRIMARY SCHOOLS THEY ARE MOSTLY FOCUS ON FORMAL LEARNING I THINK SO THEY DO HAVE TO ADD...'. There are frequent errors in verb forms, tense usage, prepositions, and sentence boundaries, which can cause significant difficulty for the reader and obscure your meaning. For instance, phrases like 'THEY ARE MOSTLY FOCUS' and 'SCHOOL SHOULD HAVE TO ENVOLVE' demonstrate weak control over basic grammatical patterns. To progress, you must work on sentence boundaries, punctuation, and core grammatical agreements while building a more accurate foundation of sentence structures.

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