Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

From recent years formal learning at primary schools has become a hotly debated issue in society. Formal learning is necessary purpose of education at school. This learning enables one's child to grow in a distinct way than other child who is not getting education. I strongly believe that primary schools must focus on formal learning but it should be minimum.

Many people believes that primary schools must be focus on formal learning but it should must be limited and according to the age of the child. Schools need to give different opportunities to play various game in schools. Due to this the interest develop in child to go school. At the age of primary school every child has an interest of games and different extra co-curricular activities. For instance, countries like Pakistan has primary schools that put to much burden on children in a small age consequently students of such schools consider their school is a place of stress.

On the other hand, some people believe that primary schools should too much focus on formal learning. Mostly it is an opinion of parents of private schools student because they pay fees in a large amount and when they know about the sport days and other extra co-curricular activities at school so they consider it a waste of time but they don't know the worth of it. Due to reaction of such type of parents many schools put heavy burden of studies on students however it makes stress and depression for students. For example, many children face illness due to their study pressure on them.

In conclusion, primary schools must focus on formal learning at school but they should must be focus on balance between formal learning and other extra co-curricular activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt, discussing both the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play in primary schools. Your position is generally clear throughout the essay, stating that while formal learning is necessary, it should be balanced with recreational activities. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. For instance, the paragraph discussing the views of private school parents touches upon an interesting angle regarding societal pressure, but the supporting examples remain limited and slightly repetitive. To move towards higher bands, you need to extend and fully support your arguments with more detailed explanations and precise real-world examples rather than brief generalisations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a coherent overall arrangement to your writing, with clear paragraph breaks that separate your introduction, main body points, and conclusion. You attempt to guide the reader using cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand' and 'In conclusion'. Nevertheless, cohesion is sometimes mechanical and referencing can be unclear, such as the sudden shifts between ideas within your body paragraphs. Additionally, the progression of thought lacks complete smoothness due to repetitiveness in how sentences are linked. To achieve a higher level, ensure that every sentence connects fluidly to the next and that cohesive devices are used more naturally and with greater variety throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary to communicate your thoughts on education and play, attempting some less common phrases like 'co-curricular activities' and 'stress and depression'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors in word choice, collocation, and phrasing throughout the text, such as saying 'play various game' instead of 'games', 'put to much burden' instead of 'too much burden', and awkward phrasings like 'fees in a large amount'. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they restrict your score. To improve your lexical score, focus on learning natural collocations and ensuring greater precision in word forms and singular/plural agreements.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Your writing displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some capability to construct multi-clause sentences. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that persist across the essay. Examples include tense and auxiliary verb errors such as 'Many people believes', 'they should must be focus', and missing or incorrect articles as in 'at small age'. While these grammar and punctuation issues rarely impede overall communication, they occur regularly enough to limit your control. To reach higher bands, you must produce a higher proportion of error-free sentences, paying closer attention to subject-verb agreement, modal verb structures, and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.