Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the formal learning is important but the additional learning is very imporatnt now a days. In the school student can not pay the full attention on the classroom because they can play the games and talking with the friends and other during on going class that's why they can also pay the attention on the other class out of the school

As far as formal learning are concern its also imporatnt parts of the student to learn in the school class because the teacher of the school is the best way to teach the right topic in the correct ways. students are less pay attention on the school class because the comsidered the school as the play time area. it has became mandatary for the student to pay the attention in school. people only considerd the school as the games and fun place but they do not teach their children for pay attention on the school classroom learning.Learning is the very important part of the student where as student learn from the school class and many other class but it is very important for the student to pay the attention.

I am disagree with this formal learning because in the school teacher can't pay the attention on the single student. as compare to personal class teacher can teach in the easier way and pay attention the study. in the formal learning teacher are can not pay the attention on the single student.

It has become mandatory for the all the student to pay the attention on the all the class and as well as student can also focuse on the physical and mentaly growth because student tend to play outdoor games in the grounds. because this all the games increase their strength and ability.

Concultion - For all the student pay the attention on the formal learning and informal learning because this both are very important for the student. not only student hard works parents should pay the attention on their student and help them

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the prompt minimally, touching upon the themes of formal learning and the importance of play, but the ideas remain largely under-developed and circular. The writer attempts to express a position, stating 'I am disagree with this formal learning', but the stance is confusingly argued and lacks consistent logical support throughout the body paragraphs. While the prompt asks about the extent of agreement and the importance of play, the student struggles to sustain a coherent discussion on these points, often repeating basic notions about students needing to pay attention without elaborating effectively. To reach a higher standard, the writer needs to clearly outline their perspective in the introduction and support each main idea with well-explained arguments and concrete examples rather than repeating similar assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Information and ideas are not arranged in a clearly coherent manner, leading to a breakdown in progression. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal structure of the paragraphs is weak, with sentences jumping between disjointed thoughts, such as moving abruptly from classroom behavior to parental responsibility without adequate transition. Cohesive devices are either missing, repetitive, or inaccurate, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logical relationship between sentences. For instance, phrases like 'that's why' and 'as far as formal learning are concern' are used mechanically and incorrectly. To improve, the writer must focus on structuring paragraphs around single, clear central topics and utilizing basic cohesive links naturally to guide the reader through the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on restricted terms like 'learning', 'school', 'student', and 'attention' throughout the response. There are frequent word choice errors, such as 'play time area' instead of 'play area', and non-standard collocations like 'pay the attention' instead of 'pay attention'. Additionally, lexical errors such as 'comsidered' and 'mandatary' detract from the quality of the writing. The range of vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey a very basic message, but it strains the reader due to awkward phrasing. To progress, the student should expand their vocabulary repertoire beyond simple, recurring words and pay closer attention to standard word pairings and accurate word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting predominantly of simple and frequently faulty sentence structures. There are persistent errors across various grammatical categories, including subject-verb agreement issues ('teacher can not pay', 'student can not pay'), incorrect verb forms ('learning are concern', 'people only considerd'), and faulty prepositions or articles. Complex sentence attempts often fail due to grammatical breakdown, and punctuation is weak, notably seen in the abrupt ending and lack of a proper concluding sentence structure. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to demonstrate control over basic grammatical patterns, ensure correct subject-verb agreement, and work on forming accurate, complete sentences with appropriate tense consistency.

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