Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is augued that primary schools mainly aim to teach students with formal learning. I believe that a child's development depends not only on education but also outdoor activities.

On the one hand, some believe that a children will learn more if they focus only on formal learning. Youngers are so attentive at an early age, so whatever the lessons they learn in school can memorize it so quickly. As a result, teachers put lots of pressure on learning only. For example, a children can easily identify the alphabets as they learn it from their teachers. A few teachers and guardians think that, a children will make a strong career if they learn a lot in the primary schools.

In my view, children need greater opportunities for playing as well as learning. If a child participate in outdoor activities, it will help to develp their mind and body. This will help broader their understanding towards their surroundings. Also, a children can think creatively which is very helpful for their future career. So, to imrpove a child physically and mentally, they need to give opportunites to play outside.

However, for this, a primary school can play a vital role.They can organize outdoor sports and encourage their students to participate in those activities. Beside, teachers can give less homework so that students can get enough time to play and take rest.

Overall, focusing only on formal learning can put children at a great risk. So, I believe a holstic approach would be a balance between learning and playing. To develop a childrens career and physical fitness, primary schools should provide the opportunities to engage children in outdoor activities as well as make the learning more enjoyable.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing the focus on formal learning in primary schools, expressing a clear personal view, and arguing for the importance of play alongside education. The position is maintained throughout the essay. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For instance, the discussion on how play develops the mind and body is somewhat generalized, and the supporting examples tend to be repetitive rather than deeply extended. The arguments regarding children memorizing lessons quickly and being put under pressure are relevant, but their implications are not fully explored. To move to a higher level, the ideas would need more thorough elaboration with more specific, concrete examples rather than general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at logical progression. The response is divided into logical paragraphs that separate the introduction, the opposing view, the writer's perspective, practical solutions, and the conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader, such as 'On the one hand', 'In my view', and 'However'. However, some referencing is not always clear or accurate, and the use of cohesive devices occasionally feels a bit mechanical or repetitive. For example, transitional phrases like 'Also' and 'So' are relied upon frequently. Additionally, the progression between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother to fully achieve a higher standard.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully communicating central ideas about education and childhood development. There are notable attempts to use less common items and academic phrases, such as 'holistic approach', 'outdoor activities', and 'creative thinking'. However, there are noticeable word-choice, word-form, and spelling errors throughout the text that reflect a limited level of precision. Examples include 'augued' instead of argued, 'Youngers' instead of youngsters, 'develp' instead of develop, 'broader' instead of broaden, 'imrpove' instead of improve, and 'holstic' instead of holistic. These inaccuracies show control typical of a mid-level band, where vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning but lacks the flexibility and accuracy required for higher tiers.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some ability to vary sentence structures with clauses, such as conditional and relative structures like 'If a child participate in outdoor activities, it will help...' and '...which is very helpful for their future career.' However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, particularly involving subject-verb agreement, pluralization, and prepositions. Examples of errors include 'a children' instead of children, 'whatever the lessons they learn... can memorize it' with agreement and pronoun mismatch, 'identify the alphabets' where 'alphabet' is typically uncountable in this context, 'a child participate' instead of participates, and 'they need to give opportunites' where passive voice or a different subject is required. These frequent grammatical slips are characteristic of a lower-intermediate level of grammatical control.

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