Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is compeletly a write statement that the schools of our country mostly focoused more on formal studies then any entertainment or any co-crricullar activities. The methods of our educational system always prefers the formal study. And they do not focused on the entertainment of children and their intrust. I also completely agree with tha given statement.

From my prespective, it is not a bad thing to focoused on the formal study of the children but behind this it is also an inmportant thing to see the intrust of children. Because not every student have a same mindset some of the childs are more intrusted in co-curricular activities like games,sports, etc so I think it is important to focoused on both things. For example, my cousin is 13 year old and he is more intrusted in cricket then his studies. His faimly mambers always against him but I think it is better for him to gave him a chance to play cricket at international level. I always say him to play cricket as well as his study. By doing so he become more focused on his studies also.

Moreover, it is important fir children to grow mently as well as physically. When they become physically strong they also become mentally strong. Because always a healthy body has a healthy mind. So I think it is also a bacis thing to prmote in our school systems.

In concllusion, if the children focused on both things like if they play and enjoy the moments in classroom they also become more better in their school or formal work but if they only force to do classroom work like study only the become bord and they do not pay heed to their studies and at the end thy fail in thier life. So to work and as well as palying in classroom or in school it is an important factor of basic of any child.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, expressing a clear position regarding formal learning and explaining the importance of play alongside study. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed. For example, the argument regarding physical and mental strength relies on a simple cliché ("healthy body has a healthy mind") without substantial elaboration or detailed supporting examples. The example of the cousin playing cricket is relevant, but it lacks broader context or deep analysis of classroom dynamics. While the writer's stance is visible throughout the essay, the arguments tend to be repetitive and lack the depth required to fully explore the topic, placing the response securely in the category of addressing the task only partially with limited ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some basic organization apparent in the essay, with distinct paragraphs attempting to introduce, develop, and conclude the topic. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression of ideas, and transitions between sentences can feel abrupt. Cohesive devices are used, but they tend to be repetitive or somewhat mechanical, such as the frequent reliance on phrases like "I think" and basic connectors like "Moreover" and "In concllusion". Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in pronoun usage when shifting between the cousin and general children. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal logical flow requires tighter links to guide the reader smoothly through the arguments.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary range is limited and minimally adequate for conveying basic opinions on the topic. The response features a high density of noticeable errors in spelling, word form, and word choice that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Examples include spelling mistakes such as "compeletly", "focoused", "co-crricullar", "intrust", "inmportant", "bacis", "prmote", "concllusion", "bord", and "palying". Furthermore, word choices and collocations show persistent strain, such as "write statement" instead of "right statement", "studying only the become bord", and "gave him a chance" instead of "give him a chance". These lexical inadequacies prevent the expression of more precise or sophisticated ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying primarily on simple sentences and basic coordination. While there are some attempts at complex sentences, such as conditional or relative clauses, these are frequently faulty in construction. Frequent errors in grammar and punctuation appear throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies, missing or incorrect articles, and issues with subject-verb agreement. For instance, phrases like "not every student have a same mindset", "some of the childs", and "if they only force to do classroom work" contain grammatical breakdowns. Punctuation is also basic, and these recurring errors can cause some difficulty for the reader in tracking the exact meaning.

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