Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people have a opinion that the private schools are more focused on academic learning than other curricular actvities, especially in the case of children. However, sports and extracurricular activities have significance in developing the active mindset of a child during his early years. I believe that the primary schools must focus on fun learning, similar to scheme known as play to learn.

As the world is advancing at greater pace, parents have a perspective that a child should start studying at very early age. They often ignore that the child's early age is crucial for the development of creative personality. On the contrary, China has well understood this kry information, and until the child become 10 years of age, there is no examination conduct in schools. As a result, their youth has considered as one of the leading and creative personality in the world.

When primary school's teachers strictly focus on bookish learning, the students become stressed and their interest in studying will get eventually lost. Moreover, trying to memorize things will get them bored and ultimately they get burdenized.

Many of the developed countries have cracked this puzzle of how to produce sharp-minded youth. They've found that in order to develop focus-minded personality, work should be done at early age of their brain. Engaging them in fun and playing activity will introduce ability to focus on solutions while encountering different problems.

In the end, I believe that children playing is one of the best learning activity. During playing, he faces different problems and finding solution to that, make him research focused person. Early education should promote the fun and playing part in schools to shape the child's personal skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by discussing whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and explaining why play is important. You establish a clear position that schools should incorporate fun learning and play. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For instance, your mention of China and how lack of examinations creates creative youth is a relevant point, but it remains somewhat generalized and lacks deeper extension. Similarly, your supporting arguments about stress and memorization touch upon valid points but could be expanded further with more specific classroom examples to reach the higher band level. You meet all core requirements of the task nicely while showing good potential for more comprehensive idea extension.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

Your essay has a coherent overall arrangement with a recognizable introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding stance. You use basic cohesive devices to connect your thoughts, such as 'However', 'Moreover', and 'In the end'. However, the cohesion can occasionally feel a bit mechanical or repetitive, and referencing is not always clear, such as the pronoun shift in the final paragraph where you switch between plural children and singular 'he' and 'his'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate your main arguments, but smoother transitions between sentences would create a clearer logical progression and elevate the structural flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task and successfully attempt some less common lexical items such as 'extracurricular activities', 'creative personality', and 'developed countries'. However, there are noticeable vocabulary and spelling errors throughout the text that show a limited level of precision. For example, you use 'a opinion' instead of 'an opinion', 'private schools' instead of 'primary schools', 'actvities', 'kry information', and 'burdenized'. Furthermore, 'focus-minded personality' and 'research focused person' are awkward collocations. These lexical slips and spelling inaccuracies indicate that your word choice needs greater control and careful proofreading to avoid impeding communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting complex structures such as conditional and relative clauses like 'In order to develop focus-minded personality, work should be done...'. However, your writing contains frequent errors in grammar, articles, and pluralization. For example, you write 'at very early age' instead of 'at a very early age', 'examination conduct' instead of 'examinations are conducted', and 'youth has considered' instead of 'youth is considered'. Prepositions and subject-verb agreements also show lapses, such as 'children playing is one of the best learning activity'. These grammar and punctuation mistakes require attention, though they rarely obscure your overall message entirely.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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