Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, learning methods of primary schools has become a widely discussed issue, with many arguing that primary schools focuses quite enough on formal learning. However, I strongly agree with that children should be involved in physical activities along with the class room learning. This essay will present the main reasons supporting my viewpoint.

The primary reason why I hold this view is that when childrens are involved in physical activities like outdoor games, it can develop their interpersonnel qualities like working as a teamwork and leading a team etc. In other words, they will improve their skills along with the classroom learning which will teach them the academics. This can have significant

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a relevant position—“I strongly agree” that children should take part in physical activities alongside classroom learning—and give one pertinent reason: games can develop teamwork and leadership. However, the response addresses the task only minimally. It does not explain whether formal learning is excessive, and it gives little detail about how play should fit into classroom learning or why it matters beyond social skills. The final sentence is unfinished, so the supporting idea is not completed, and no example is provided. The response also falls short of the required minimum length, leaving both parts of the question largely unanswered. Develop each part with a clear explanation and a specific example, such as how a group activity supports learning and cooperation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a basic sense of organisation: the opening introduces the topic and your position, followed by a paragraph beginning “The primary reason why I hold this view.” Phrases such as “However” and “In other words” show an attempt to connect ideas. At this stage, though, the progression is limited because the response ends before the reason is fully explained, and there is no concluding paragraph to bring the argument together. The link between formal classroom learning and physical activities could also be made more explicit. To improve, organise the essay into an introduction, separate developed body paragraphs addressing the two questions, and a conclusion. Use linking expressions to show relationships between complete ideas rather than relying on a small number of repeated transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “physical activities,” “interpersonal qualities,” and “teamwork,” which helps communicate the central idea. There is also an attempt to use more specific language such as “leading a team.” However, the range is limited in this short response, and several word choices or forms are inaccurate or awkward, including “learning methods of primary schools,” “focuses quite enough,” and “working as a teamwork.” These expressions make parts of the argument less natural and precise. Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling and word forms. For example, describe schools as placing “too much emphasis on formal instruction,” and say that children “develop teamwork and leadership skills” through group activities.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the clause beginning “when children are involved in physical activities” and the relative clause “which will teach them the academics.” This shows an effort to connect ideas rather than relying only on short statements. However, errors in agreement, plurals, articles, and sentence construction are frequent enough to affect accuracy: “learning methods … has become” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “primary schools focuses” also has incorrect agreement. “When childrens are involved” has an incorrect plural form, and the final sentence fragment beginning “This can have significant” is incomplete. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb, correct agreement, and a complete ending. Vary sentence patterns, but prioritise accurate, complete sentences.

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