Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Most of the people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and I totally agree with this statement. Some primary schools do focus too much on formal learning.

Primary schools recently have increased the degree of strictness and level of formal learning. Now a days the second grade syllabus of ours is taught to primary school children who are not even attending first grade.

This might sound progressive and fancy but at a certain point it stresses the child out in order to be the best version of themselves which sometimes might lead to depression as well.

And to avoid such major consequences play and learn method should be implemented in primary schools. As this method of teaching would not only keep the child away from stress and anxiety but also it would be a great method to inculcate the habit of being fit and exercising.

As being fit and healthy is equivalently important as being upto the mark in studies.

Also as per world statistics average height among men and women in India has seen a decline to 5 feet and 5 feet 6 inches respectively. Which in comparison with european countries like Germany is unavoidably less. Play and learn method of teaching migh tbe one of the reason for this drastic difference. Germany follows play and learn method of teaching since KITA which consists of kids from 6 months age to 6 years. And due to this systematic teaching method since such youmg age children tend to become more healthy and smart at the same time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the opening: you agree that formal learning is overemphasised, and you address both the pressure this can create and the value of combining play with learning. The examples about early syllabus content and Germany’s KITA system are relevant, and the response meets the task’s length requirement; 11 words copied from the prompt were not counted. However, the second question—how important play is in the classroom—could be answered more directly and developed further. The claims about depression, fitness, and national height differences are asserted rather than carefully explained, and the comparison with Germany does not establish that its teaching method causes children to be healthier or smarter. More specific classroom examples and clearer support for these claims would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable line of thought: formal learning creates pressure, play-based learning may reduce it, and Germany is offered as an example. However, progression between points is not consistently clear. The opening repeats the same position in two consecutive sentences, while several paragraphs begin with “And” or “Also,” making the links feel mechanical. The sentence beginning “Also as per world statistics” introduces height comparisons without a clear transition from the classroom benefits discussed just before it. Paragraphing is limited, and the final point about KITA would be easier to follow if separated and linked explicitly to the argument. Organise the essay into distinct paragraphs for your position, benefits of play, and supporting example, using clearer references and transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “strictness,” “stress and anxiety,” and “systematic teaching method,” so the reader can understand your main ideas. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “inculcate the habit” and “play and learn method.” However, the range is limited by repeated wording, especially “formal learning” and “play and learn method,” and several choices are awkward or imprecise. “The best version of themselves” is not a natural fit for describing pressure on young children, while “equivalently important” and “drastic difference” do not express the intended comparisons precisely. Spelling and typing slips such as “migh tbe” and “youmg” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural collocations and precise terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, for example, “This might sound progressive and fancy but at a certain point it stresses the child out…” This shows some range, but control is uneven, and several sentence structures are incomplete or awkward. “As this method of teaching would not only…” is a dependent clause presented as a sentence, and “Which in comparison with european countries…” is also a fragment. The sentence beginning “As being fit and healthy…” has an unclear grammatical construction. There are also errors in articles, agreement, and punctuation, including “the second grade syllabus of ours is taught” and the comma before “but” being absent in the longer sentence. Practise complete sentence structures and check clause boundaries, articles, and agreement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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