Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argued that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, I partially agree with this statement. It is important for children to play as well as learn in the primary schools classroom. Learning from the books is a essential for anybody who enter into the school.

Firstly, we discuss about the too much learning from the school. When a student go to school, its farmost duty is to study hard ,learn and get good marks in the end. Because if you donot focus on study and may fail in exam, you have nothing to do, except cry and cary harder. The reason behind the topper students is taht they focus on the lecture tha had delievered by the teacher. In the primary school of underdeveolping countries like Pakistan, mostly student are unaware of the international language such as english. Thatswhy, private and public centres like schools have to much focus on only curriculum activities rather than extra cirrculum activities. Some parents and teachers pressurise their student that to study but actually they are tired and do not intrest on study. Due to lack of intrest they lost their ability as a brilliant student.

On the other hand, many schools focus on co-curriculum activities like cricket, badminton and various experiments. These activities are now essiential part of the study because it makes the body fresh. A sound body has sound mind. Some students learn fastly when they do these kind of activities. But these activites have many drawbacks such as students waste a huge vital time in these useless activities. As a result, they failed in final exams. Another dissadvantage is some students have not enough money to take part in co-cirrcular activities and some have not strong physic to take part in sports. As a result, they lost intrest in everything.

In conclusion, learning plays a vital role in study and child gromming. In contrast, sports and other activities also plays a significant factor in study. We should limit on time and make schedule for both activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions: you partly agree that formal study can dominate, and you state that play and learning should both have a place. The examples of pressure from parents and teachers, and of sports and experiments, are relevant. However, the position is not consistently explained: the opening says you partly agree, while the first body paragraph mainly describes why students must study, without clearly showing when schools focus too much on it. The discussion of play also shifts to drawbacks such as wasted time and cost, but does not fully explain how classroom play supports children’s learning or development. Develop each main point with a clear explanation and a specific example, then connect it directly to your view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. Transitions such as “Firstly,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from exam results to language learning and then parental pressure without making the links explicit. Some connections are also mechanical or unclear, including “Because if a student…” and “As a result” where the consequence is not fully established. Group related points and use clearer topic sentences, followed by explanation and an example. This would make the overall argument easier to track and reduce abrupt shifts.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “curriculum activities,” “co-curriculum activities,” “pressurise” and “drawbacks,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, sometimes making the meaning less clear. For example, “farmost duty” is not a natural expression, “learn fastly” should be expressed differently, and “lost interest in everything” is too broad for the point being made. Spelling errors such as “essiential,” “dissadvantage” and “cirrcular” are also noticeable. Build a bank of accurate education-related phrases and check spelling and word forms; prefer precise expressions such as “academic responsibilities” and “lose motivation.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including conditional and cause-and-effect structures, so there is some variety. However, errors are frequent, and complex attempts are often faulty. Examples include “a student go,” “its farmost duty,” “students… they failed,” and “activities… plays,” where agreement or pronoun reference is incorrect. Articles and sentence construction also need attention: “a essential” and the opening comma splice two independent clauses. Punctuation is inconsistent, and some sentences run together or begin with “Because” without a complete main clause. Practise subject–verb agreement, articles and complete sentence boundaries, then proofread each sentence for one clear subject and verb.

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