Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Learning through books is essential for everyone. But it is argued that primary schools focus completely on formal learning. I partially agree with the statement.

At first, I think that in our country there are schools who focus not only on formal learning, but also on co-curriculum activities like playing games, debates and on other things which can boost student's mind level. Moreover, I think that creative activies should be a part of school learning because they encourage students to think about things which are happening in our surrondings. These activies can make the children's body solid and good to face difficult challanges in life. These can make their health quiet fit. So, if they have good health, they also have good minds which can boost their learing skills. As a result, they will perform better in every field not only in studies.

On the other hand, there are also schools who only focus on books. They dont ask their children to do creational activities. There are many reasons for it. Firstly, teachers are not properly guided or well-trained. So, they don't thinks that other activities are also essential with learning books. They completely force their students to learn book things. This can limit student's mind level. In addition to this, comparison among schools on the basis of numbers can also force schools to focus only on books. This is a very wrong practise as it will affect the student's ability to think because they will completely rely on books.

However, it does not mean that students just focus on games or other activities. It will cause them to become wayward children.

As a result, they will loss their interest in studies. So, a balance between studies and outdoor activies is necessary.

Overall, i would like to say that schools should not ignore creative activies because they are necessary for children's health. But a proper balance between them is also essential.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you partially agree that schools may overemphasise formal learning, while arguing that play and creative activities should be balanced with study. You address both questions, and relevant reasons include the benefits of activity for health and thinking, as well as teacher preparation and pressure to compare schools by results. These points support your view and show the task is substantially covered. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the link between physical health and improved learning is stated but not illustrated, and “wayward children” is not clearly explained as a consequence of too much play. A specific classroom example and fuller explanation of these points would make the argument more consistently developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, contrasting body paragraphs, a qualification about excessive play, and a conclusion. Paragraphs generally have a clear central focus, and signposts such as “On the other hand,” “Firstly,” and “Overall” help readers follow the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, with repeated “So” and “As a result” links, and some connections between claims are not fully clear. For instance, the move from activities making children’s bodies stronger to their performing better in every field needs a more explicit explanation. The short paragraph beginning “However” also interrupts the development of the preceding argument. Use fewer formulaic transitions and connect each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “formal learning,” “co-curriculum activities,” “creative activities,” and “comparison among schools.” There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “boost their learning skills” and “rely on books.” However, the range is limited by repeated general words such as “activities,” “things,” and “focus,” while several inaccurate or unnatural choices reduce precision: “mind level,” “creational activities,” and “quiet fit” are unclear in context. Spelling errors such as “activies,” “surrondings,” and “challanges” are noticeable. Build a more precise vocabulary for classroom learning and child development, and check spelling and collocations so your ideas are expressed naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mixture of simple sentences and longer structures, including clauses with “because,” “which,” and “if.” This allows you to explain reasons and consequences, and the overall meaning is generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with agreement and verb forms: “teachers … don’t thinks” should be “teachers … don’t think,” and “they will loss” should be “they will lose.” There are also problems with articles and number, as in “comparison among schools on the basis of numbers” and “limit student’s mind level.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are mostly clear, though spacing and capitalisation are inconsistent. Practise checking subject–verb agreement, verb forms after auxiliaries, and singular/plural noun patterns while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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