Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some individuals believe that primary schools focus too much on formal learning as compared to other co-circular activites. I partly agree with this statment because education is very important for children but playing or other activities are very beneficial and provide a relaxation to the students.

I know that the main role of schools is to provide education to persons. However, i believe that children also get tired or bored from thier daily routine. To come out from this routine, educational departments should organize the parties or sport gala after one month regularly. This helps the children to become always happy.

But its not totally good to take focus on playing and break their concentration on studies. Institute should be balance in each. Not too much aim on studies that makes the children bored. And not gave too much free time thats make the children drifter.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a relevant, partly agreeing position: formal education matters, but children also need play and other activities. You also recognise the need for balance, which addresses the task’s central issue. However, the response only minimally develops the two questions. The suggestion to hold parties or a sports gala once a month is specific, but you do not explain how classroom play supports children’s learning or give a relevant example. Your final point about too much free time is also unclear and unsupported. The response contains 137 words, so it is 113 words below the 250-word minimum; the nine words copied from the prompt are excluded. Develop both parts of the question with reasons and examples, and make your position clearer throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: you state your view, discuss the role of schools and children’s tiredness, then return to the need for balance. This gives the reader some organisation, and phrases such as “However” and “But” signal a change in direction. At times, though, the progression is abrupt: the suggestion of monthly events is not clearly connected to classroom play, and the final paragraph introduces concentration and free time without explaining their relationship. Some links are also awkward or repetitive, including “But” at the start of the last paragraph. To improve, organise each paragraph around one clear point and use linking phrases to show how the reason supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a small range of relevant vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “education,” “routine,” “concentration,” and “free time,” so the main topic is generally understandable. There are also attempts to express more specific ideas, such as “sport gala.” However, the vocabulary is limited and several word choices or spellings make the message less natural: “co-circular activites,” “statment,” “drifter,” and “take focus on playing.” Some phrases, such as “become always happy,” are also imprecise. Aim to learn accurate collocations for education and child development, and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “extracurricular activities” and “maintain a balance” would help you explain your ideas clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use mostly simple sentence patterns and attempt some longer structures, for example, “I partly agree with this statement because education is very important for children but playing or other activities are very beneficial.” This communicates your general position. However, the range is limited, and errors recur in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation. For instance, “Institute should be balance in each” is not grammatically complete, while “thats make the children drifter” has problems with the verb form and sentence structure. Capitalisation is also inconsistent, as in “i believe.” Practise building accurate sentences with because, although, and while, and check subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries before finishing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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