Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, formal learning in the children schools has become an increasingly prominent issue in contemporary society. This topic has generated considerable discussion particularly regarding the importance of the other activities side by side of studying in the primary classrooms and I also not agree with too much focus on studies only. There are several factors that can explain this phenomenon while its implication can be examined from different persepcetives. This will adress the both argumnets and my opinion also and in turn provide a clear and balanced analysis.

With regard to my opinion, there are several compelig reasons why I am not agree with the argument. The primary explanation is that, if primary schools concentrate only on studies of students, they will loose student abilities. This is largely because human mind needs a break after some work. For instance, if a student is pressurise to study only for 6 to 7 hours, his mind will lose the strength of learning, he must have to take a short break after some hard-work.

Turning to the second question it is very necessary to have other activities like playing with learning as well, it can be considered from several angles. One important consideration is that, if play should give the same importance like study, this can be particularly beneficial because students will get a chance to boost their confidence. A pertinent example is that, if a study seeker will get a chance to play a role in the activities like school show, his confidence rises up, and with studies he gain the skill of how to talk with other individuals, it demonstrates that other activities should have to get the same importance like learning.

In conclusion, I would not recommend to have focus on studies but they should have to gave the same importance to different activities with learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that primary schools should not focus only on formal study, and you address both the question of excessive academic emphasis and the value of play. The point that children need breaks and that activities can build confidence is relevant. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the example of a school show supports confidence and communication, but you do not explain in much detail how play contributes to learning or classroom development. The opening also promises a “balanced analysis” without presenting a contrasting view. To strengthen the response, explain the benefits of play more fully and support each main claim with a specific, clearly connected example. Keep your position consistent and explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two questions, and a conclusion. This makes the overall arrangement coherent, and phrases such as “With regard to my opinion” and “Turning to the second question” signal the direction of the discussion. However, these transitions can feel mechanical, and some links between ideas are unclear. For example, the first body paragraph moves from focusing only on studies to students “los[ing] student abilities” without specifying which abilities or how this follows. The conclusion repeats the position but does not draw together the reasons. Use clearer references and connect each explanation directly to its claim; vary transitions and develop a more logical progression within paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-related and formal vocabulary, including “prominent issue,” “considerable discussion,” “boost their confidence,” and “pertinent example.” These choices show an effort to use a range beyond basic words. However, the range is limited by repeated or inaccurate expressions, and several collocations make meaning less natural: “activities side by side of studying,” “study seeker,” and “same importance like study.” Spelling errors such as “persepcetives,” “adress,” and “argumnets” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural phrases rather than adding formal-sounding wording where it does not fit. For instance, describe “balancing academic lessons with play” and explain that activities can “develop communication skills.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt longer sentences with subordinate clauses, such as “if a student is pressurise to study only for 6 to 7 hours,” and use some simple sentences to state your position. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur frequently enough to make parts difficult to follow. Examples include “I also not agree,” “they will loose student abilities,” “his confidence rises up,” and “he gain the skill.” The final sentence, “they should have to gave,” also combines verb forms incorrectly. Practise building accurate sentences with one clear main clause, then add a subordinate clause. Check subject–verb agreement and verb forms, especially after modal verbs and conditional “if” clauses.

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