Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Education widens our mental horizon. Some people believe that the primary schools focus on the formal learning. However, others think it is no need to give education in formal way to small children. In this essay, i will discuss the views of indivduals and give my own opinion in forthcoming paragraphs.
I entirely believe that children have their many questions regarding the things that are our arround. However, if school only focus on formal learning then they have no time to explore their surrondings which is very crucial for a child.
Moreover, they have to time for playing as we know this is very important for child's growth. In addition, playind games keep a student physically fit and mentally strong. Also, this make cordination of child's brain and body.
Further enhancing my views, primary classrooms are those initial period where child familiar with school. The school they think go for play and learn but formal learning may be hurt them as we all say to our child that you go for playing and make new freinds. As well as, it is important to learn but it is not neccessary in formal way. We may use many other ways to learn new things.
On the opposite side, the public say that it is vital to learn in formal way. Since it gives child's to picture how they learn in further classess and how much it indespensable to learn. Moreover, learners produce many qualties in them such as team spirit, dicpline, unity and many more.
To the nut shell, different people have different notions regarding this statement but I strongly believe that the formal learning in not need of hours for primary class pupils.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You give a clear overall view that primary pupils should not spend all their time on formal learning, and you mention relevant benefits of play, including physical fitness and coordination. You also acknowledge the opposing view that formal learning prepares children for later classes and can develop qualities such as teamwork and discipline. However, the task asks how important play is alongside learning, and this point is not fully answered: the essay does not explain how schools should balance the two. Several claims, such as formal learning potentially hurting children, are asserted rather than supported with a specific example or explanation. Develop your position more consistently and explain why play matters while still recognising the value of structured learning.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. You also use linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “In addition” and “On the opposite side.” However, progression between ideas is not always clear, and some links feel mechanical or do not accurately show the relationship between sentences. For example, “Further enhancing my views” introduces a paragraph that repeats the importance of play and formal learning rather than clearly extending the argument. The opposing view is introduced late and is not connected back to your own position. Use topic sentences to establish each paragraph’s purpose, then order supporting explanations and examples logically; make references such as “this” and “they” more precise.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “physically fit,” “team spirit” and “discipline,” and these choices help communicate the main subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning difficult to follow. Phrases such as “our arround,” “make cordination” and “the public say” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling errors, including “indespensable,” “freinds” and “qualty,” also reduce accuracy. Build a more reliable set of education-related expressions and check spelling and word forms carefully. Prefer precise, natural phrases such as “explore their surroundings,” “develop coordination” and “support children’s development.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, for example, “However, if school only focus on formal learning then they have no time to explore their surrondings.” This shows an effort to express cause and contrast, but control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to understand. Examples include “primary schools focus” without an appropriate article, “school only focus” instead of subject–verb agreement, and “they have to time for playing,” where the sentence pattern is incomplete. The sentence beginning “The school they think go for play and learn” is particularly unclear. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, and complete clause structures before adding complexity. Proofread punctuation and capitalisation, including the pronoun “I.”
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