Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is belived by some people that studies is the main focus in primary schools and they suggest that play should also be part of the formal education. However, I agree with the statement to some extent but not completely.

I believe that focus of primary schools is different in both the private schools and the government institutes. In private schools systems, when parents have invested money then they become more cautious of what their kids are learning in schools. They usually get connected to administration and teachers to be updated about learning of their children. This is the reason that learners at private schools get opportuinities of sports and other outdoor activities. However, in terms of government schools, kids are forced to learn only the formal education. They do not have options wether to play or not. At this point I agree with the belief that primary students must not be forced only to have focus on formal education. Rather they should equally be provided with opportunities to outdoor plays.

Additionally, too much stress on formal education shatters the confidence of students. For instance, if a student is not good at studies but he has a caliber to outperform in sports, can lose confidence in himself. Nevertheless, if he is given the facilities to participate in sports or other extra-curricular activities he can regain his confidence by proving himself. Moreover, through plays kids learn how to handle conflicts, accept defeat and teamwork. Therefore, I strongly beleive that plays should be an essential part of formal education.

In conclusion, government should pay heed to arrange physical sports in primary schools to boost the confidence of learners instead of focusing on only the formal education. I believe that plays and games are as equally important as course subjects.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that play should be included, while qualifying that agreement with “to some extent but not completely.” You address both the focus on formal learning and the value of classroom play, and your points about confidence, handling conflict, accepting defeat and teamwork are relevant. The example contrasting private and government schools also gives the discussion a specific direction. However, the comparison is asserted rather than supported, and the essay does not fully explain what a balanced approach to formal learning and play would look like. The confidence example is useful but could be developed with a clearer, concrete illustration. More explanation of these points would make the response more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your position, the body paragraphs present reasons, and the conclusion restates your view. Linking expressions such as “However,” “Additionally,” “For instance” and “Therefore” help readers follow the argument. The progression from school differences to the effects of play is generally logical. At times, though, connections are mechanical or the reference is unclear. For example, “At this point” does not precisely identify which part of the comparison you mean, and “Nevertheless” introduces a contrast that is not fully explained. The first body paragraph also combines several claims without clearly separating them. Use more precise referencing and build each paragraph around one main point to make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “formal education,” “extra-curricular activities,” “confidence,” “conflicts” and “teamwork,” which allows you to discuss the topic clearly. There are also attempts at more specific expression, such as “regain his confidence” and “accept defeat.” However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision: “belived,” “opportuinities,” “wether” and “beleive” are misspelled, while “outdoor plays” and “focus on only the formal education” are unnatural combinations. “Caliber” is also not the most natural choice in the example. These issues do not prevent understanding, but they limit the accuracy and flexibility of the vocabulary. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations for education and play.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if a student is not good at studies … can lose confidence” and clauses introduced by “when” and “if.” Most ideas remain understandable, and the paragraphing gives you room to express several relationships between ideas. Some grammatical errors persist, however. In “studies is the main focus,” the subject and verb do not agree; “when parents have invested money then they become” has an awkward conditional structure; and “if he has a caliber … can lose confidence” lacks a clear subject in the main clause. Articles and sentence construction also need attention in phrases such as “focus of primary schools.” Aim to make complex sentences complete and check agreement and article use.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.