Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is widely believed that the main focus of primary schools is on formal academic education based on studying in classrooms with a particular curriculum and assessments by a teacher in an institution and do not give children enough opportunities to play. However, I partially agree with this viewpoint because students must have to focus on their learning as well as they should also paricipate in extracurricular activities.

One compelling reason for this stance is that formal learning plays a crucial role in development of individual's character and provides foundation for their future career.

Children need to develop basic skills such as reading, writing and mathematics before they can step furthur to advanced subjects. In addition a structured environment teaches children discipline, concentration and respnsiblity. For instance, a child who is studying in school is well mannered as compared to those who are just stay at home.

However, I believe that play should have a significant place in primary education. Through games and group activities, children can develop communiction and problem solving abilities in enjoyable way. Physical activities are helpful to remain active and reduce the stress associated with prolonged classroom study. For example, a teacher could use educational games to teach mathematics or allow students to work together on creative activities. In this way, children can improve their concepts while studing.

In conclusion, there should be a balance between study and play because study is necessary for building academic foundations, while partcipating in certain activities make them able to develop socially, emotionally and physically in their lives.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear: you partially agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis, while arguing that children need both academic study and play. You address both questions and support your view with relevant examples, including educational games and group activities. The explanation of why foundational skills matter is also relevant. This fits the descriptor because the main ideas are extended and supported, although some claims are broad or not fully explained. For example, the comparison that a schoolchild is “well mannered” compared with a child who stays at home is asserted rather than demonstrated, and the benefits of play could be developed with a more specific example. Explain more precisely how classroom routines and play contribute to children’s development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall progression: an introduction states your position, the first body paragraph explains the value of formal learning, the second discusses play, and the conclusion restates the need for balance. Paragraphing is appropriate, and signposts such as “However,” “For instance,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. The ideas within each paragraph are generally ordered logically. To make the progression more consistently smooth, strengthen the links between claims and their explanations; for example, the point about discipline moves quickly to a comparison with children who stay at home. Some transitions are also formulaic. Use referencing and linking more flexibly, and make sure each example clearly illustrates the claim immediately before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “structured environment,” “concentration,” “problem solving abilities,” and “academic foundations.” These choices make the main ideas clear, and phrases such as “a significant place in primary education” show an attempt to use more developed language. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “focus on their learning,” “remain active,” and “improve their concepts.” Spelling errors—including “paricipate,” “furthur,” “respnsiblity,” and “communiction”—also limit accuracy. Aim for more natural combinations and check spelling carefully; this would make your vocabulary more precise and flexible without changing the meaning of your argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “because students must…” and “while study is necessary…”. Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the response is easy to follow overall. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “students must have to focus” combines two modal forms, while “activities make them able to develop” has an awkward structure; “those who are just stay at home” also uses an incorrect verb form. The opening sentence is long and difficult to control. Practise building complex sentences around one clear main clause, then check agreement and verb patterns to improve accuracy.

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