Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In modern days, individuals are talking about that, primary schools are focusing mainly on formal learning. I would like to say that, now the children especially in develpoed countries are not just focusing on formal learning.

To begin with, i would say that, in these days compared to prevoius days when no one was completely awared of the education system, this could possible that teachers due to unawareness did not do their bests in terms of shapping childer. This is all because of new environment, additionally no one knews the output of it. Moreover, now it is totally understood that what will be the consequence when childern are not shapped well from the basics, more preciously from the primary schools. Therefore, now the educational ways of learning have been changed due to advancement in everything. Although, there is also some tyoical types of schools inthe village areas, which are still just focusing on the formal ways.

I would also firmly say that, in this era it is probably extermely crucial for these buds to learn in both ways rather then just focusing on one way of learning, through books and practical ways. Furthermore, the way i think about these children, they should be adapted ways that mend their minds in physical activities and the activities that offer metal relief to them. Playing and learning together plays essential role in everyones life. These things makes you feel prepared everytime. So, both things are necessary.

In conclusion, from my perspective, in these days primary schools are not just focusing on books despite, they are focusiog on practical ways of everything for behaving the children. Additionally, for learning fresh and present mind is very crucial and this is only possible due to playing diffrernt activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions: you state that schools are not focused only on formal learning, and you say play and learning are both necessary. The discussion of play includes relevant points about physical activity and mental relief. However, your position is not fully clear or consistently supported: the opening refers particularly to developed countries, while the body later mentions village schools, without explaining how these examples support your overall view. The comparison with education in the past is also broad and difficult to connect to the question. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how much you agree that formal learning receives too much attention, then develop specific classroom examples showing how play supports children’s learning and wellbeing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the paragraphs broadly separate the discussion of formal education from the value of play. You also use linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “Moreover” and “In conclusion.” However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from past teachers’ awareness to educational change and then to village schools without making the links explicit. Several connectors, including “Additionally” and “Furthermore,” are used mechanically rather than showing a precise relationship between ideas. The conclusion repeats the main points but does not clearly resolve the extent of your agreement. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example directly to the claim it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “educational system,” “physical activities” and “mental relief,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, the range is limited and many word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes meaning unclear. Examples include “shapping childer,” “the output of it,” “adapted ways” and “fresh and present mind.” There are also frequent spelling errors, such as “develpoed,” “prevoius,” “extermely” and “diffrernt,” which reduce clarity and control. Aim for accurate, natural phrases rather than ambitious wording: for example, describe how play “supports children’s development” or “helps them concentrate.” Proofreading spelling and checking common word partnerships would make your ideas easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both short statements and attempts at longer sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “when.” However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty or incomplete. For example, “Although, there is also some typical types of schools…” is not correctly joined to a main clause, while “Playing and learning together plays…” has a subject–verb agreement error. Other examples include “these children, they should be adapted ways” and “they are focusiog,” where sentence structure or verb forms make the intended meaning harder to follow. Commas are also frequently placed after introductory phrases where they are not needed, and some sentences run ideas together. Practise building clear subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check agreement, articles and punctuation.

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