Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some people think that primary schools should more focus on formal learning and i also agree with this point but there is also some disadvantages that is will tell there.

First of all, it is very important for a school to make sure they maintain the class with some classes and in between classes they should arrange some outdoor activites for childerens. The reason of outdoor activities is that childeren gets bored for continuing studies and they need some relaxtion and they need to relax their minds. Formal learning is also very important for a student for their future.

I do not agree with the point of only formal learning is being provided to childerens because that will exausted the mind and childerens gets offended by continues of study. if we provided them some outdoor activities, some type of sports activities they will surely become happy and they can also enjoy and entertanined themseleves. By doing this we can make sure that a childeren is learning formal education and aslo gets enough activites that will help them in future.

Outdoor activites will not only give them entertainment but also gives them soo much new thinking and sharp their minds. They can learn different things and they can solve problems easily if we give them some exposure.

In Conclusion, Outdoor activites is very important for a childeren because this will help them in the future to become a good student as well as a good physical health. we should provide facilties to our students so they can enjoy themseleves.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both the concern about formal learning and the importance of play, and your position is broadly that children need a balance. Relevant points include that continuous study can tire children and that sports and outdoor activities may support their thinking and problem-solving. However, the opening says you agree that schools should focus more on formal learning, while the later discussion rejects providing only formal learning; this makes your exact position difficult to follow. The ideas are also asserted rather than explained in depth, and the task’s classroom focus is sometimes replaced by outdoor activities generally. Clarify your degree of agreement in the introduction, then develop each main reason with a specific example of how play supports learning in class.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, several body paragraphs and a conclusion, and phrases such as “First of all” and “In Conclusion” help signal stages of the answer. The main ideas—formal study, children becoming tired, and the benefits of activities—are generally relevant. However, progression is not consistently clear: the opening position conflicts with the later argument, and the second paragraph’s reference to maintaining classes is difficult to connect to the point about outdoor activities. Repeated use of “children” and “outdoor activities” also makes the writing feel repetitive, while some links between claims are not explained. Organise the essay around two clear reasons, use pronouns or precise references where appropriate, and make each paragraph’s central point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “outdoor activities,” “sports activities,” and “solve problems,” so the reader can identify your main subject. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts of the response awkward or unclear. Examples include “the reason of outdoor activities,” “gets offended by continues of study,” and “sharp their minds”; these do not express your intended ideas naturally. There are also frequent spelling errors, such as “activites,” “childerens,” “relaxtion,” and “entertanined,” which reduce clarity. Build a bank of accurate phrases for discussing learning and play, and check spelling and word forms carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer clauses, for example, “If we provided them some outdoor activities… they will surely become happy,” showing an effort to explain cause and effect. However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “children gets bored,” “Outdoor activities … gives,” and “if we provided … they will.” Articles and sentence construction are also problematic in “a children is learning,” while punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, particularly after full stops. These errors sometimes make the reader pause to interpret the meaning. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, consistent conditional forms, and sentence boundaries, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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