Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Few people argue that primary schools mainly target on academic training as compare to providing free time to children's for fun. I partially agree with this view because early studies might help increase knowledge skills, develop interest in books and compitition among students but entertainment time most be schedule for refreshment and physical development as well.

Firstly, education is the basic need of every individual for better development and career. fundamental studies are the stepping gate towards the higher academic's. Due to which teacher's pay extra attention to each child in classroom more formaly that they feel free to ask any relavent question without hesitation. Secondly, if we give excessive time to the play which will eventually break's the rethum between studies. Physical activites might be good for some students but not a

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a position—“I partially agree”—and give relevant reasons, including academic development and the value of play for refreshment and physical development. However, the response addresses the task only partially: it does not explain clearly how important classroom play is, and the point that too much play could disrupt study is left unfinished (“but not a…”). The reasons are asserted rather than supported with examples or explanation, so your position is not fully established. The response also falls short of the required minimum length, leaving both parts of the question substantially underdeveloped. To improve, complete your argument, discuss the balance between learning and play directly, and add a specific example showing how play supports children’s learning or wellbeing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening paragraph gives your position, and the next paragraph begins with “Firstly” and “Secondly” to introduce reasons. These signals help the reader recognise a sequence. However, the progression is limited, and the second paragraph ends abruptly, so the argument does not reach a conclusion or connect its points fully. Some links are also unclear: “Due to which” does not form a clear connection to the preceding sentence, while the shift from formal study to excessive play needs explanation. Use complete paragraphs with one developed main idea each, connect cause and effect explicitly, and add a concluding sentence that restates your view and the importance of play.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, such as “academic training,” “physical development,” “classroom,” and “higher academic” study, which makes the subject clear. There is also an attempt to express more specific ideas through phrases such as “refreshment” and “competition among students.” However, the range is limited, and several inaccurate word choices, collocations, and spellings make parts difficult to understand—for example, “target on,” “stepping gate,” and “break’s the rethum.” Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “entertainment time.” Build a more reliable set of phrases for education and play, and check spelling and collocations. For example, use “focus on academic learning,” “foundation for further study,” and “disrupt the rhythm of learning.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a sentence starting “Due to which.” This shows an effort to connect ideas rather than relying only on short statements. However, control is inconsistent: errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and possessives occur frequently and sometimes make meaning unclear. For instance, “Few people argue” does not clearly express the intended claim, and “teacher’s pay extra attention” has an incorrect possessive form. The sentence beginning “Physical activities might be good…” is incomplete, and punctuation around the opening paragraph is also uneven. Practise writing complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, then check articles, plural forms, and sentence boundaries.

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