Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is argued that spending a significant amount of time of students on formal teachings by primary schools could have some downside. I largely supports this notion as others activities such as sports also plays an important role in learners overall development.
Education is essential for children to develop theoratical knowledge in early age. This is because teenagers have lack of information about things around the world, which they can learn from schools as it helps them to build foundation of knowledge. For example, attending primary schools may provide information which cannot be available at home.
However, studying longer hours often develops stress in student, which can be relive from sports activities. Allocating most of the time to formal learning is difficult for many children. If students spent some time in playing sport, they would have developeda great fitness. In addition, playing sports also develops students interest in exploring other fields, which are not relevant to academic such as cricket and football.
To conclude, although formal learning should have priority in primary schools as it helps to build knowledge in early life of children, playing sports for them should not be overlooked as it offers great health benefits and career opportunity in other field than solely be dependent on education.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
Your position is clear: you largely agree that formal learning can receive too much attention, while also recognising its value. You address both learning and play, and the examples of sports and classroom knowledge are relevant. However, the discussion is brief and several points are asserted rather than explained. For instance, you say sports can relieve stress and support fitness, but do not show how classroom play contributes to children’s learning or social development. The conclusion mentions health benefits and career opportunities, but these ideas are not developed in the body. The response is 40 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to explain and support your ideas. Develop each main point with a specific example and clearer reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting the value of formal learning and sports, and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic route through your argument, and transitions such as “However” and “To conclude” help signal changes in direction. At times, though, the progression within paragraphs is not fully clear. The second body paragraph moves from stress relief to fitness and then to career interests without explaining the links between these points. Some references, such as “which” in “which are not relevant to academic,” are also unclear. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, then explain it and give a relevant example; this would make the argument more coherent and less list-like.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “foundation of knowledge,” “sports activities,” and “health benefits,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited, and several word choices or collocations sound unnatural or imprecise, such as “formal teachings,” “relive from sports activities,” and “career opportunity in other field.” There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “theoratical” and “students interest,” which reduce accuracy. Try to use more precise expressions for the relationship between play and learning, such as “develop social skills” or “reinforce classroom learning.” Checking spelling and common word partnerships would make your vocabulary more natural and help you express ideas with greater precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “If students spent some time in playing sport, they would have developeda great fitness.” This shows an effort to vary sentence forms, but the conditional is not controlled, and errors occur frequently across the response. Examples include “I largely supports,” “sports also plays,” and “teenagers have lack of information,” where subject–verb agreement or sentence construction is faulty. The final sentence also has an unclear structure: “playing sports for them should not be overlooked as it offers…” A more accurate version would be: “Although formal learning is important, schools should also provide time for play because it benefits children’s health.” Practise agreement, articles, and conditional forms, and proofread each sentence.
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