Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, schools place greater emphasis on formal learning than on playing and other physical activities. While academic education is important for children, an excessive focus on learning and classroom exposure can be harmful for their mental well-being. In my opinion, play and education are equally important for students, as they both contribute to their ability to learn and overall development.

On the one hand, formal learning is necessary because it provides children with basic knowledge and skills that they need for their future education. Different subjects like science, mathematics, language and art help the children with their ability to read, write, calculate and draw various things. However, if young children are always confined in a classroom and asked to focus on their work they might not be able to focus clearly and will start losing interest in learning new things. For example, students who are always under the pressure of homework and tests slowly lose their curiosity to learn and become stressed.

On the other hand, playing plays a key role in child's development and overall growth. Through games and other physical activities, children can develop their creativity, communication skills and ability to work with others. For example, grouping can help to teach children how they can cooperate, share and resolve disagreements by working together. Furthermore, physical activities help children stay healthy and active. Play doesn't always have to be physical it could be done mentally too by playing educational games to make a child's brain more engaging and healthy.

In conclusion, although formal learning is important for children in primary schools, play is just as important. A balance should be maintained between both of these since they are beneficial for the children and the children need both knowledge and physical strength to survive in the world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you consider formal learning and play equally important, and you address both questions by explaining the value of academic skills and the developmental benefits of play. The examples about pressure from homework and tests, and children learning to cooperate through group activities, support your main points. This gives the response a relevant, balanced answer. However, some ideas are more fully explained than others: the risks of classroom learning are described mainly as loss of curiosity and stress, while the importance of play could be linked more explicitly to learning outcomes. The final claim about needing “physical strength to survive in the world” is broad. More specific explanation and examples would make the argument more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction to contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” make the shift between formal learning and play easy to follow, and the examples generally appear beside the ideas they support. The progression is coherent, though some linking is formulaic and ideas within paragraphs could be connected more precisely. For instance, the sentence about educational games follows the point about physical activity without clearly explaining how it extends the argument. The conclusion repeats the central position but adds a broad final claim rather than drawing together the specific benefits discussed. Use clearer links between each claim and its explanation to strengthen progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “mental well-being,” “curiosity,” “communication skills” and “resolve disagreements.” These choices communicate the main ideas clearly, and there is some variety beyond basic terms. However, several expressions are imprecise or awkwardly collocated, which limits the flexibility and naturalness of the vocabulary. For example, “grouping can help to teach children” is unclear, “make a child's brain more engaging” does not express the intended meaning naturally, and “classroom exposure” is an unusual way to describe time spent in lessons. Aim for precise, natural combinations such as “group activities,” “stimulate children’s minds” and “time spent in the classroom.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including a concessive opening (“While academic education is important…”) and conditional sentences (“if young children are always confined…”). Most sentences are understandable, and grammatical errors rarely obstruct the message. Some issues remain, particularly with articles, sentence boundaries and punctuation. For example, “in child's development” needs a determiner, and “Play doesn't always have to be physical it could be done mentally too” joins two independent clauses without suitable punctuation or a conjunction. The sentence beginning “if young children…” also needs a comma after the introductory clause. Review these patterns and continue using complex sentences while checking that clauses are joined and noun phrases are complete.

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