Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argued by some individuals that formal learning is the main objective of primary schools. I strongly agree with this view because this way of learning can't grow intellectual skills of a student and other extra co-curricular activities. In contemporary society, the strategies of some education system are just to enroll students and get the fees from their parents. Therefore, their aim is to become affluent in small passage of time, rather than pay attention on learning system.

To begin with, numerous citizens believe that too much absorbtion in study isn't a good approach. Schools should need to organize different relaxtion activities for learners. There are several impacts of too much formal learning. One of them is the health issue. A wide range of students can face health problems when they are extremely absorbed in studies, such as weak eyeside, headace, stress and other such issues. Every school should recomend some peaceful activities for the refreshment of students. These activities could be indoor or outdoor. Case in point, some schools make a proper annual calender. There is a deep mentality behind this concept. They know how exactly extract their work from industrious students and to stay in touch with them in vacations. This view strike a balance between students' intellectual growth and their academic outcomes. In present, there are minimal institutions who use this approach for their reputation and advertisement. Therefore, it is momentous to apply this in every school for the betterment of education and country's economy.

In conclusion, schools should avoid this approach of too much focus on formal learning. They should also invent different enjoyable activities for learners' growth and for better outcomes. It is important for children to play games and involve in other activities assigned by the school. To get strong in studies and other life trails.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear in broad terms: you oppose excessive formal learning and say children should also play and take part in enjoyable activities. You give relevant reasons, including possible health effects and the value of balancing academic and personal development. However, the response only partly develops the task. The question asks how important play is in the primary-school classroom, but most examples concern relaxation activities, annual calendars and school holidays rather than classroom play. The opening claim that formal learning cannot develop intellectual skills is also not explained, and the discussion of schools seeking fees and profit is not clearly connected to the question. Explain the educational and social benefits of classroom play, then support these points with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a main paragraph and a conclusion, and phrases such as “To begin with” and “In conclusion” help signal stages. However, progression within the main paragraph is difficult to follow: it moves from health problems to peaceful activities, then to annual calendars, school holidays, reputation and the economy. These points are not linked into a clear line of argument. Some references are also unclear, particularly “this approach” and “this view,” which could refer to different ideas. The conclusion repeats the general recommendation but ends with the fragment “To get strong in studies and other life trails.” Group related ideas together, use clearer links between claims and examples, and make each paragraph advance one main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “intellectual growth,” “academic outcomes” and “health problems.” This gives you some means of discussing education, but inaccurate word choice, spelling and collocation are noticeable and sometimes make the intended meaning unclear. Examples include “absorbtion in study,” “weak eyeside,” “extract their work from industrious students” and “life trails.” Some expressions, such as “momentous to apply this,” are also unnatural in context. Aim for precise, familiar academic phrasing rather than using complex expressions whose meaning is uncertain. Proofread spelling and check how words combine; for instance, describe students as “engaged in intensive study” and refer to “life skills” rather than “life trails.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and attempts at longer structures, including “There are several impacts of too much formal learning” and a sentence beginning “Therefore, their aim is…”. However, control is uneven, and some sentence patterns are incomplete or awkward. “Schools should need to organize” combines two incompatible verb patterns; use either “Schools should organize” or “Schools need to organize.” The final sentence, “To get strong in studies and other life trails,” is a fragment and does not complete the conclusion. There are also problems with articles and prepositions, as in “pay attention on learning system.” Work on complete sentence construction, modal verbs and common grammatical patterns, then check that each sentence has a clear subject and a complete main clause.

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