Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

in primary school the chldren play and learn from this skill and it is important for the children to play because when children not involved in the playing activity it is not good for children they dont involved in any social activity like game etc when children involved in both study and game it is good for him his mind is sharp when he play the game and his playing activity is increase through the game so i think children can involved inthe both activity to make his base more strong it good for his future because some children go to the sport in his future so it can not see the dificulties because the children also involved in the game so his base is strong and they easily go to the any field of sports like football circket and hockey volleyball etc in the primary school it is most important think for the children future make bright so i think children can include in all field of the sport like football and football is very good game for the children it is good for the children health and make the children stamina it is well recomended game and they include in the top game of the world so children focus on this game and go to the club in his future and make the future bright and when the children is good in the sport so it can easily colify for the national and international matches in any field of the sport and i really recomended the spot and it is well for the children future many student go for the international matches because in his primary school it develop his playing and learning ability so i think it is good for student and make is brain more strong and body

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You express a relevant view that children should both study and play, and you give reasons such as social interaction, health, stamina, and possible future involvement in sport. These points show a basic response to the topic. However, the task asks whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and this part is not directly discussed: you do not explain what formal learning currently involves or whether it is excessive. The response also relies heavily on sport, with claims such as football being a “very good game,” rather than developing a balanced explanation of play alongside classroom learning. To strengthen the response, state your position on formal learning clearly and explain how play supports children’s learning, using a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.0

The response stays broadly on the subject of children’s play and learning, and there is a recognisable line of thought: play may support social activity, health, and future sporting opportunities. However, ideas are presented as one long sequence without paragraphing or clear stages, so the reader has difficulty following the argument. Repeated links such as “so,” “because,” and “and” often join several different points, while references such as “it” and “his” are not always clear. For example, the move from social activity to football, then to national matches, is not signposted as a new supporting point. Organise the essay into an introduction, separate body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with each paragraph focused on one reason.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant words, including “social activity,” “health,” “stamina,” and “future,” which helps communicate the general topic. However, vocabulary is basic and highly repetitive, especially “children,” “game,” “good,” and “future.” Several word choices or forms make the meaning unclear, such as “his playing activity is increase,” “make is brain more strong,” and “colify.” Some expressions are also unnatural, including “go to the sport” and “include in all field of the sport.” Build a wider range of topic vocabulary and use more precise collocations, such as “participate in sports,” “develop social skills,” and “support physical well-being.” Check spelling and word forms carefully so your ideas are easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas using clauses with “when,” “because,” and “so,” showing some effort to go beyond isolated simple statements. However, sentence structures are mostly long chains, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries frequently make the writing difficult to follow. Examples include “when children not involved,” “it is good for him,” and “children can involved,” where the verb patterns and agreement are not controlled. Capitalisation and punctuation are also largely absent, making it hard to identify where one sentence ends and another begins. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine related ideas accurately—for example, “When children take part in games, they can develop social skills.”

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