Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the modern era, most of schools are provide the best education to childern with the new technology such as laptop and led screen but some of schools are still provide tradiional way of teaching method. In this eassy, i will discuss the importance of activites while study in class and the effects of it.

To begin with my opinion, most of childern like to play in class, home as well as outside. Many kids in primary schools learn math by activites such as playing games and learn counting easily. This teaching method is interesting for both child and teacher. Students will learn for long time and never get bored in the class.

Moreover, pupil comes to school daily and never scare from teacher. Learning with play in classroom is more benificial for the students, so they wanted to learn more. There is a encourgement for the kids learn more subjects for example, learn science with experiments in a lab and history with tour or watch a movie of the topic.

Furthermore, kids in the primary schools are very small, they need more activites to learn something new. Their brain is very active to adapt knowledge and get new experience. They will not sleep in the class while studying because of games and fun activities.

However, some of schools only focus on study and formal learning which was not a good method of teaching to primary childern. Small kids needs love and care.

They don't deserve burden of books. They can learn very easily by playing.

In conclusion, Primary schools must applied method of learn with play for the kids. Government also provide training to the teachers about this method.

Furthermore,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the prompt: you argue that play supports learning and explain why it matters alongside formal study. Examples such as learning mathematics through games and studying science through experiments make the response relevant, and your conclusion recommends learning through play. However, the extent of your agreement is not stated clearly at the outset, and the discussion focuses much more on the benefits of play than on whether schools actually place too much emphasis on formal learning. The point that children “don’t deserve burden of books” is relevant but not explained or supported. To strengthen the response, state your position directly and develop the contrast between formal instruction and play with a specific example or explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, several body paragraphs, a contrasting point and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “However” help signal the direction of ideas. However, progression is not always clear: the first paragraph promises to discuss “the effects” without specifying them, and several body paragraphs repeat that children benefit from activities without adding a distinct point. Some links are mechanical, and the final standalone “Furthermore,” is unfinished and disrupts the ending. Group related ideas into paragraphs with clear topic sentences, use pronouns or other references carefully, and remove the incomplete final word so the conclusion feels complete.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “experiments,” “encouragement,” and “adapt knowledge.” These choices help communicate your main ideas, but the range is limited and some expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, which can make the reader pause. For example, “most of schools,” “learn for long time,” and “burden of books” do not express the intended meanings naturally; spelling errors such as “childern,” “eassy,” and “benificial” are also noticeable. Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking spelling, rather than relying on repeated general terms such as “activities” and “learn.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more developed sentences, including a reason clause in “because of games and fun activities” and a contrast introduced by “However.” The main message is generally understandable, but control of sentence forms is uneven. For example, “most of schools are provide” combines incompatible verb forms, while “pupil comes to school daily and never scare” has problems with agreement and the verb construction. Articles, plurals and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “There is a encourgement” and the comma splice in “Small kids needs love and care. They don't deserve burden of books.” Practise accurate present-tense patterns and build longer sentences from correctly formed clauses.

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