Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, it's argued by some people that primary schools have too much focus on formal learning. In my opinion, primary schools are on right because in this stage of life childrens have no ability to learn themself, even they have one source in the form of schools they can learn something into a specific way and school staff can make assignments for children and nominated them with marks and grades as well.

First of all, at this early age of pupils, they are not able to find their aims for future. Primary schools helps to children and boost their confidence according to their desires aims and they are trying to put them into straight way to get their aims. For expample, if a student want become a doctor in his own furture then schools will help his to get the right path and give him a strong instructions to get his aims.Second of all, schools focus on foundation of pupils study because if basic is strong then childrens can move easily in their own future education so that's why primary school much focus on formal learning.

On the other side, parents starts the compains for this boring routine for schools and their children cannot feel relax and they are fell into stress through this tough routine. They said that school must have to focus on both formal and informal learning as well.

In conclusion, I strongly stand with my point of view that was primary schools are doing right because at this of life routine work is very nessary and if they are not focus on this thing pupils will be reckless and they will not take their studies seriously.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is identifiable: you support a strong focus on formal learning, especially in the conclusion. You also mention the opposing concern that children may feel stressed and that schools should include informal learning. However, the response only partially answers the task because it does not clearly explain how important play is in the classroom or give a developed account of its benefits. The claim that children “have no ability to learn themself” is too absolute and is not supported; the example about becoming a doctor focuses on future goals rather than the value of formal learning at primary age. Develop both sides with relevant reasons—for example, how play can build social skills while structured lessons establish basic literacy and numeracy.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, supporting paragraphs, a contrasting point and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “On the other side” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the discussion of pupils’ future aims moves quickly to marks and grades, then to the importance of foundations without explaining the links. The contrast paragraph is brief and is not connected back to your own position. Some linking is mechanical, and the long opening sentence makes the main point difficult to follow. Use clearer topic sentences and develop each paragraph around one connected idea, with references that make relationships between claims explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “foundation,” “confidence,” “routine” and “stress,” so the reader can follow the general topic. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or unnatural choices make parts of the argument difficult to understand, such as “put them into straight way,” “strong instructions” and “reckless.” Spelling errors such as “expample,” “furture” and “nessary” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise phrases that express the intended meaning, and check spelling carefully. Vocabulary about play and learning—such as “hands-on activities,” “social development” and “structured lessons”—would also help you address the question more directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional structures such as “if basic is strong then childrens can move easily,” but complex sentences are often faulty and errors occur frequently. Examples include “primary schools helps,” “children have no ability to learn themself,” and “if a student want become a doctor,” where agreement, pronouns and verb forms are not controlled. The opening sentence also combines several ideas without clear grammatical boundaries, while “that was primary schools are doing right” is difficult to parse. These errors sometimes make the reader work to understand your meaning. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, plural forms and sentence boundaries, then build longer sentences from shorter, correct clauses.

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