Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people believe that primary school paying more attention on formal learning but children should focus more on playing activities also. However, I agree with this view because academic education is essential. Whereas, children also need time to develop their creativity and development skills. I will discuss my view in following paragraphs.

To begin with, Formal education plays critical role in every child’s life. For example, reading and writing of various subjects as these will give them basic knowledge of academic study. Conversely, playing and participation in other activities helps child to distract from their daily stress as every kid comes from different backgrounds and no one knows what is going behind their school life. For example, In this materialistic world, Both Parents are running at pace of earning money to compete with the society and child remains solitary sometimes. If they will play or participate in sports that would create huge positive impact on their mental health.

Moreover, Providing only formal learning have negative effects. Firstly, reading only books will never make confident child. Taking them for sports or group discussions or other outdoor activities can make them more presentable and Improve their communication skills.Secondly, Child may feel pressure if he only focus on academic learning and ended up with stress.

Lastly, learning from textbooks while sitting on chair all the time can also affect overall motor activity. Whereas, Physical activity by doing group games or sports can very beneficial for health.

In a nutshell, Formal learning is important for future primary education. Schools should create balance between academic study and other activities. I personally believe that Children must enjoy the opportunity of extra curricular activities for their wellbeing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you support balancing formal education with play, and you address both the value of academic learning and the importance of activities. Relevant points include play supporting mental health, communication, confidence and physical development. This meets the task well, but the two questions are not developed equally: the importance of play is discussed in several ways, while the extent to which schools currently focus too much on formal learning is less directly explained. Some claims, such as children becoming more presentable through outdoor activities, would benefit from clearer reasoning or a specific example. To strengthen the response further, state more precisely how much you agree and explain how classroom time could be balanced.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas generally progress from the value of formal learning to the benefits of play. Linking phrases such as “To begin with,” “Moreover” and “In a nutshell” help signal this progression. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. “Conversely” does not clearly express the relationship between the points that follow, and “Whereas” at the start of a sentence leaves the contrast incomplete. The first body paragraph also shifts quickly from academic knowledge to family circumstances and mental health. Grouping related points more carefully and using clearer references between sentences would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “academic education,” “creativity,” “communication skills” and “mental health.” These terms allow you to discuss both classroom learning and children’s wider development. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “primary school paying more attention on,” “distract from their daily stress,” and “create huge positive impact.” There are also inconsistent forms and capitalisation, including “extra curricular” and unnecessary capitals within sentences. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your main ideas, but they limit precision and naturalness. Focus on common academic collocations and check word forms and spelling when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex structures, including conditional phrasing (“If they will play…”) and contrast clauses. The overall meaning is usually clear, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “primary school paying” lacks a finite verb, “plays critical role” needs an article, and “Providing only formal learning have” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The conditional “If they will play” would be more accurately formed with a present-tense verb in the if-clause, and “if he only focus” also needs agreement. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are sometimes inconsistent, particularly where sentences run together. Review articles, agreement and conditional forms, then proofread sentence boundaries.

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