Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that primary institutes put more interest on formal learning methods than extra curricular activities. This essay will discuss how necessary it is for adolescents to have a balance of studies with sports because it can bring the talent out from kids along with having a positive effect on their mental and physical health.

From my perspective students should have a mandatory sports activities in their school. It can not only give them joy but also improves their mental and physical abilities. For instance, a one sport period in a whole casual learning day can bring a piece of happiness to the students. It can also help teachers to find out the capabilities of students in various sorts of sports because not all individuals are good at studies some are good at sports. Students can relax with their classmates by playing favourite games resulting in mental stability . It can also assist in upgrading childrens physical activities and helath .

Therefore, extra curricular activities should be made compulsory at primary school level. Teachers and parents should encourage the kids to play and take npart in various types of sports . This can help them focus in their studies. Institutes should arrange annual sports competition for students to encourage those who have a ambition to becom future athletes.

In conclusion, i would say that primary level schools should include sports in curriculum along with formal learning methods . It will help adolescents to relax by playing favourite sport along with having a positive effect on their mental and physical health.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You give a clear position: primary pupils should have sports and play alongside formal learning, and you address both the emphasis on formal study and the value of play. Relevant reasons include enjoyment, mental and physical health, discovering pupils’ abilities, and helping them focus on studies. However, the discussion is weighted towards sports rather than play more broadly, and several points are asserted rather than explained. For example, the claim that a sports period can improve “mental stability” would be stronger with a clearer explanation or a specific example. The suggestion of annual competitions is relevant but not fully connected to classroom learning. Develop fewer points in more depth and explain how play supports children’s learning as well as wellbeing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to supporting paragraphs and a conclusion, and the overall position is easy to follow. Paragraphs generally group related ideas, while connectors such as “For instance,” “Therefore,” and “In conclusion” help signal progression. This coherent organisation is a strength. To make the progression more flexible and precise, organise the body around distinct reasons—for example, learning benefits and health benefits—rather than returning repeatedly to the same point about sports and wellbeing. Some links are mechanical, and the opening promises a discussion of balance but does not clearly map the argument. There are also unclear references, such as “It” at the start of several sentences; name the activity or benefit so the connections between ideas are more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “formal learning,” “mental and physical health,” “capabilities,” and “sports competition.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations sound unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning less precise. For example, “put more interest on formal learning methods” does not express the intended idea naturally, and “a piece of happiness” is an awkward way to describe enjoyment. “Extra curricular activities” is also used repeatedly where “play” or “recreational activities” would better match the question. Spelling and word-form slips, including “helath” and “childrens,” further affect accuracy. Build a bank of natural phrases for discussing play, learning, and child development, and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrast in “It can not only give them joy but also improves…” and the result clause “resulting in mental stability.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. In the not-only construction, the verbs should be parallel (“give” and “improve”), and “students should have a mandatory sports activities” has problems with the article and plural form. Other examples include “not all individuals are good at studies” and “who have a ambition,” where article use and sentence phrasing need attention. Punctuation and spacing are also inconsistent, particularly around full stops. Practise subject–verb agreement, articles, and parallel structures, then proofread each sentence for these patterns.

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