Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's era multiple citizens argued that schools mainy focuse on acedemic education rather then sports participation. According to m opinion, if structured learning is essential for learner mental healths and decision making skills, sports activity also very important in term of physcical fitness and generatin awareness among fitness among students.

On the first hand, formal education helps studens in work related field and improved mental strength and decision making skills. These type of learning assist student to become master in technical field like carpainter, enginering. On the same time also improved decision making and memorizing skills. For example, student who enrolled in acedemic schools for taking the knowledge of particular subject in which they want to master. It helps them in term of geeting inhance and pmorving skills. Hence, person independly earn lot of money.

On the other side, sports activites assist students in term of improving healths because with the help of fitness they protect himself from any kind of serious injury. Additionally, it also increased focuse of during the playtime. For example, a football player want to pass the ball to partner in order to get goals, it only possible when they are proerly fit and focused. This sports activities also improved stamina and reduce possibility of injuries, helps them improving game.

In conclusion, no doubt formal education is important in term of technical field and increasing standerd of living after making more money with the help of skills,on the othe senario sports activities eually important to enjoy life in a better way, it help in improving fitness, decision making skills, ihnace focuse towards the goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by discussing formal education and sports, and your conclusion indicates that you consider both important. However, the extent of your agreement is not stated clearly: the opening says schools focus more on academics, but it does not directly explain whether you agree that this is excessive. The discussion also focuses mainly on the benefits of academic study and sport, rather than explaining how play should be included alongside learning in primary classrooms. Examples such as the football player passing to a teammate are relevant, but the academic examples are general and some claims, such as education leading to independence and high earnings, need clearer explanation. State your position directly and develop classroom-based examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs on formal education and sport, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the two main topics. You also use signposting such as “On the first hand,” “On the other side,” and “In conclusion.” However, some links are mechanical or unclear, and the progression within paragraphs is uneven. For example, the academic paragraph moves from technical careers to memorising skills and then earning money without fully showing how these points connect. The conclusion repeats earlier claims rather than bringing them together into a clear answer about classroom balance. Use more precise transitions and make each paragraph develop one central point in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “formal education,” “decision making skills,” “physical fitness,” and “stamina,” so the main subject is generally clear. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts difficult to understand. Phrases such as “improving healths,” “in term of,” and “increased focuse of during the playtime” are not natural or clear. There are also repeated misspellings, including “acedemic,” “enginer­ing,” and “standerd,” which reduce accuracy. Aim to use familiar vocabulary precisely before attempting more complex expressions. For example, describe how sport “supports children’s health and concentration” rather than relying on unclear phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the response is divided into paragraphs that generally communicate its main points. However, control of sentence structure and basic grammar is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For instance, “if structured learning is essential … sports activity also very important” lacks a complete, balanced clause, while “a football player want to pass” has a subject–verb agreement error. Articles, plurals, and verb forms are also unreliable, as in “student who enrolled” and “it also increased.” Punctuation is sometimes missing, particularly where clauses run together. Practise building accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries.

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