Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argued that primary schools pay much attention on therotical knowledge rather practical based teaching. I agree that many primary schools teaching in an formal way. I belive It is very important to allocate some amount of time for children to play.

I strongly agree that schools are focusing more on formal learing.

many schools does not have space for play ground in the schools

and even tough few schools have grounds but they are not including sports peroid in thier time table. This is because many schools are competing each other for good results in the academics for thier repution so, they are not encouring practicalknowledge and sports in their acad

The schools should have sports activities in thier academic time table. When childrens focus only on learning subject and reading textbooks they feel exhausted beacuse they have only limited brain capacity in young age to understand the topics. So, sports activites in the school helps children to relax and be active throught the day. In addition, it makes children to be more creative and helps to understand the topics in the clasroom easily. For example, delhi public school students invented the mini electric car because, the school time table has off day for sports and remaining time for the study. so that helped children to be stress free and more creative. Hence, primary institutions should have games to make children more creative from childhood.

In conclusion, I agree that many schools following same trend teaching only textbook subjects, which makes classroom teaching bore for children. Moreover, It very important to consider outdoor activities in the primary schools, which helps them to be more innovative.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that schools overemphasise formal learning and consider play important. You address both questions, giving relevant reasons such as limited playground space, pressure to achieve academic results, and the benefits of sports for relaxation and creativity. The example of students inventing a mini electric car also supports your point, although its connection to the timetable is not fully explained. This response meets the core requirements and shows some development, but the discussion is uneven: the first body paragraph is unfinished and offers little explanation of how formal learning affects children, while the importance of play is developed more fully. Explain each main point with a clear cause-and-effect link and a specific, well-supported example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body sections and a conclusion, and the ideas generally relate to the question. Linking expressions such as “In addition,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help signal relationships. However, progression is weakened by the very short, unfinished first body paragraph, which ends with “in their acad,” and by the abrupt move from school competition to the benefits of sports. Some connections are also unclear, particularly the explanation of the electric-car example. Plan each paragraph around one main idea, develop it fully, and use clear references to show how examples support that idea. This would make the overall progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “academic results,” “sports activities,” “creative,” and “innovative,” so the reader can understand your main points. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make the writing less precise, such as “pay much attention on,” “practicalknowledge,” “sports peroid,” and “teaching bore.” Some terms are repeated, particularly “children,” “schools,” and “sports.” Build a wider set of accurate phrases for education and child development, and check spelling carefully. Also learn words in natural combinations—for example, schools can “place emphasis on academic achievement” and children can “take part in physical activities”—rather than translating phrases word by word.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “This is because” and a sentence with “When” and “In addition.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “many schools does not have,” “I agree that many primary schools teaching,” “When childrens focus,” and “It very important.” The opening also joins contrasting ideas without a clear grammatical structure. Practise forming complete clauses with correctly matched subjects and verbs, and check articles and plural forms. After drafting, read each sentence separately to identify missing verbs or words and to make sure punctuation clearly separates ideas.

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