Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Primary school time plays very important rule in any student's life. Because it is the time when children are learing basic manners and learning how should behave in a group or in socity. Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. Some how this argue is true because primary school students are too small theycan not study all the time playing is also nessary for their health.because by playing group game matches they learn team work and try to understand the different types of human behavior and how we can deal with them. I just want to say i am not agree with the too much focus on formal learning. Beacuse all the students are not having same learing habits some students sre very sharp minded some are not sharp minded and they are not able to study so much in a while their mind needs a small break in which they can refreach their mind by playing games are doing other activities which can make them happy and fell them free.primary school students are very small kids which are not able to understand the human behaviors and nature. I think so in primary school basic manners should be learned than other formal learning. They should learn how to respect elders and how work in a group or team and should behave with age fellows. I think at this age basic manners are very important than book learning. These basic manner learning can make them a good humanbeing

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both questions by saying that formal study should not dominate and that play helps children develop teamwork and social understanding. Your view is present, especially in “I am not agree with the too much focus on formal learning,” and you give relevant reasons about breaks and basic manners. However, the position is not consistently developed: the response shifts between opposing formal learning and prioritising manners without explaining how these should be balanced in the classroom. Examples remain general, and the second question about the importance of play could be answered more directly. The response is 240 words, so it is 10 words below the 250-word minimum; the 12 words copied from the prompt are not counted. Develop each main reason with a specific classroom example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a recognisable line of thought: you introduce the role of primary school, discuss play and social skills, then emphasise manners. This gives the reader some sense of your main concerns. However, ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and several points run together in a long block, making the progression difficult to follow. Connections such as “Because” and “Some how” do not clearly show how one claim relates to the next, while “I think” is repeated. The shift from play as a necessary break to manners being more important than book learning also needs a clearer link. Use separate paragraphs for your position, the benefits of play, and your conclusion, with explicit transitions between them.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “team work,” “human behavior,” and “basic manners,” so the central ideas can generally be understood. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “learning,” “students,” and “I think.” There are also frequent spelling and word-choice problems, such as “learing,” “socity,” “nessary,” and “refreach,” which distract the reader. Some expressions are unclear or unnatural, including “playing group game matches” and “fell them free.” Build a more precise set of topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations; for example, describe play as developing cooperation and social skills rather than relying on vague or awkward phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express reasons and relationships using longer sentences, for example, the explanation that children need a break and can refresh their minds through activities. However, sentence structures are limited and many attempts at complex sentences are faulty or run together. The opening fragment “Because it is the time…” is not joined correctly to the preceding sentence, and “I am not agree” has an incorrect verb form. Other examples include “they can not study all the time playing is also…” and “which are not able to understand,” where sentence boundaries or clause structures are unclear. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent. Practise forming complete sentences with one main idea, then connect them accurately using conjunctions and full stops.

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