Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Children are future for every country. In today's world, individuals think that primary schools are more focused on formal learning. In my opinion, i am completely agree with this statement.

To begin with, if teachers are giving more focused on formal learning then it is not good for children growth. if Children are doing more focus on study instead of playing, then that is bad for their mental growth. Secondly, primary schools only providing the formal learning to the children. They do not provide the practical knowledge how things are happens. if they are concentrate more on books, then they do not able to learn communication skills, cognitive skills which are very essential for students.

On the other hand, schools should do need focus on playing of children. If children are playing with other students its helps the children to make the friends. Games also develop the physical growth and also sharp the mind of children.Moreover, schools should need to organise the games for children and encourage the children to participate in thst games, then this thing is build the confident.These activities also build the different types of skills such as communication skills. In addition, games are teach the children

to problem solving skills.

In conclusion, i would like to reiterate that it is important schools should focus for children to play games as well as learning. In my opinion, there are several disadvantage if primary schools are focus only on formal learning such as poor effect on physical growth and on mind.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools give too much attention to formal learning, and you also explain why play should be part of classroom life. Relevant points include the possible effects of study-heavy routines on children’s mental and physical development, and the way games can support friendships, communication and problem-solving. This addresses both questions and gives the response a sound foundation. However, some ideas are asserted rather than explained—for example, the claim that book-focused learning prevents children from developing communication skills would benefit from a specific example or clearer reasoning. The discussion of formal learning is also less developed than the case for play. To strengthen the response further, explain how schools can balance structured lessons with purposeful play and support your main points with concrete examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining concerns about formal learning, a paragraph on the benefits of play, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, some links are mechanical, and the progression within paragraphs is not always smooth. For instance, the second paragraph moves from mental growth to practical knowledge and then communication skills without fully showing how these points connect. The conclusion repeats the main position but adds little synthesis. Use clearer links between each claim and its explanation, and make references such as “this thing” more precise so readers can follow the argument without pausing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “practical knowledge,” “communication skills,” “physical growth,” and “problem solving.” These terms make your main ideas understandable, and there is some attempt to use topic-specific language. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are noticeably inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning less natural. Examples include “future for every country,” “sharp the mind,” “build the confident,” and “focus for children to play.” Spelling errors such as “thst” also reduce accuracy. Build a bank of natural phrases for education and child development, and check whether verbs and nouns combine idiomatically. More precise vocabulary would help you express the same ideas with greater clarity and flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer conditional or explanatory sentences, such as “If children are playing with other students…” and “if teachers are giving more focused on formal learning…”. This shows an effort to vary sentence forms, but control is inconsistent, and errors occur in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. For example, “I am completely agree” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “Games also develop the physical growth” and “games are teach” show problems with verb construction. Capitalisation after full stops is also inconsistent, as in “if Children” and “i.” These errors can make some sentences difficult to process. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then extend them with subordinate clauses, checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms during revision.

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